Dear Crush! | A Dear Evan Hansen Fanfiction |

Is he okay...?

He stared from across the clearing, terrified. He could feel his legs shaking, his mind becoming a mess. He could feel the uncomfortable warmth coursing through his body. His eyes widened, absolutely horrified to discover Evan.

He laid at the base of the tree, across from Connor. He was drapped over the ground, his disheveled head of hair covering his eyes as he continued being motionless. Half of his body was submerged in the shadow created by the tall tree behind him, and the other half bathing in the moonlight. There were leaves strewn about, decorating his blue shirt with speckles of green. From the way Evan was position, from the way Evan remained motionless, Connor could only think of the worst.

Evan did it.

He jumped.

He threw himself out of a tree.

He glanced up at the tree, still feeling the strong and cold wind of the night rushing against his skin, the cold and unforgiving harshness of a slap that was Evan's decision to jump. The tree stretched up high, rustling quietly in the wind.

He then looked back down at Evan's body, absolutely heartbroken. The way his body laid there unmoving. The same person that laughed at his jokes, the same pair of lips that he had kissed a few days prior, the same eyes he received a loving gaze from, the same arms he receives hugs from.

Connor's body moved on its own, adrenaline kicking in. He slowly started taking one step. Then another. Soon he felt his body rushing towards Evan. He felt his heart beating quickly, loudly in his ears. He heard his brain going dead silent. He couldn't exactly feel anything anymore.

He stood in front of Evan's body, absolutely mortified. His knees felt extremely weak, suddenly unable to hold his body up. He slowly slide down, now sitting on the soft grass, legs on either sides. He heard the loud rustle as his body landed onto the grass, causing the leaves strewn about to fly up, and then gently swaying left to right, and finally landing on the grass once more.

All he could hear around him was the quiet buzzing of insects, a loud cricket, and the deafening silence of the night in his ears. Suddenly, the truth slapped him across the face again.

Evan did it.

Connor felt tears flowing down his cheeks. He bit his lips, attempting to muffle his cries, silence his sorrow. His vision became blurry, as he continued to cry at the sight of Evan.

—————

Zoe sprinted about, her eyes still glancing around the find any sign of a person. She would run, trying her very best to dodge tree after tree. She could only hear the loud rustling of grass as she ran through the forest, the sound of her panting filling the air.

She felt hopeless. There was no way she could find Evan, and that hurt her a lot. An image of her brother's weak body as he cried on her shoulders flashed before her eyes, reminding her of the reason she needed to find Evan.

To fix Connor.

Evan was the only person who had ever made Connor change that much. He did something Zoe tried to do, and succeeded. He accomplished something Zoe had failed to do. He had done something that Zoe thought was impossible. He made Connor a better person.

She could only imagine the pain he feels if Evan were to disappear.

This sparked something in Zoe. Adrenaline. It was as if she found new meaning by recollecting her thoughts. She found a new purpose to search for Evan. She needed him to continue helping Connor. She needed him to continue with loving Connor. She needed him to help Connor in ways she cannot, because she was incapable.