Dear Crush! | A Dear Evan Hansen Fanfiction |

The Final Choice

"What do you mean?"

Connor was not used to the idea of others asking for his opinion, to the point the entire idea is foreign to him. He almost felt uncomfortable as he heard Evan.

"Y-yeah, do you-you want to remain as…" Evan muttered, currently capable of noticing all of the effort that stopped his hands from toying with his shirt, "…this?"

Evan knew exactly why he wanted Connor to answer; he had been selfish. Evan had recognised that Connor was always respectful and understanding of Evan's emotions and intentions, which had been a huge help to Evan's mental capabilities and compacities. The constant understanding, as much as he hated to admit it, had dragged Evan into becoming inconsiderate and ignorant to Connor's emotions.

Never in these past incidences had Connor been told to advocate for his own emotions.

Instead, he had been willing to advocate for Evan's emotions. He had sealed off his own emotions to make room for Evan's, which was a choice that was unintentionally affecting them both. Connor became easily swayed by Evan's choices of mood, Evan became deceived and believed that Connor will make room in his heart for Evan's emotional well-being.

The two sat in silence for a brief moment (albeit awkward) to reflect upon the current situation.

"I… um… I understand that I haven't exactly been th-the best boyfrien— wait, no. I-I haven't been th-the best friend either. For that, I want to-to apologise. I'm really s-sorry for that."

Connor did not turn to face Evan, staring towards the horizon beyond with a blank stare; it indicated that he had been reflecting and attempting to piece together the words floating about in his mind. Evan took that as a sign to continue.

"A-and I know I can't force you to-to do anything you don't want to… uh… I wouldn't want to force you either! Um, I've always been calling th-the shots, when you should have… um… a part? Yeah, s-so, I'm going to leave th-this decision to you… I… I'm not expecting an immediate answer, okay? I—okay… um, I'm leaving this up to you, and I-I'm okay with either answers. Um… is that okay with you?"

He glanced towards Connor, who had still held his mystified expression towards the horizon. Evan let out a sigh of relief, as if he had been unconsciously holding his breath the entire time. Well, he felt better than he had ever been in the past year. That was a good sign that he was developing as a person, overcoming his anxiety a little and all that.

Connor had looked over and separated his lips, but hesitated letting any words out of his mouth. All that could be mustered was various sounds which indicated that he had been lost for words. Eventually, he gave up and turned back to the sunset, attempting to reconsider his choices.

Unbeknownst to them, the trio had been hiding in a bush a fair bit away from them. They had been earnestly listening in, not as a joke, but to provide their support to the two of them by allowing them to have their conversation alone. None of them had smiles. They were furrowing their brows, focusing on their voices to really concentrate on what they were saying due to their distance.

"Listen, Evan," Connor spoke, which startled Evan quite a bit, "I'm sorry if I can't quite get this out properly, because I can't exactly enunciate my feelings that well, but yeah. Uh, so I bet this topic must have been bothering you for quite a bit?"

Evan nods quietly.

"Yeah," Connor sighs, "I thought so."

He takes a deep breath and exhales, his shoulders beginning to loosen up and he regained his ability to breathe a little easier. He raised his arms, scratching the back of his head simply out of awkwardness.

"Listen, Evan. I never thought of this as a burden. I know what I signed up for when I decided to tell you… you know? And throughout the relationship, I've learned so many things about you, and I've come to terms with all of them. Although, I don't know how I feel about the fact you love trees more than me!"

Connor let out a relaxed chuckle, and Evan followed suite. It successfully managed to drop the earnest and serious tone.

"Okay, serious," Connor chuckled, still maintaining his grin. "I've learnt that you're a more sensitive person, when I'm not. So, I've learnt from you to be less… uh… violent, I suppose, and you have learnt from me to take stuff more harshly. I think that this is a good set up. I was honestly fine to let you go on your little meditation escapade, although I was still… surprised, for a lack of a better word."

Evan was listening to every word intently, and had been processing them with a bit more of a smile, and a relieved expression than before.

"But yeah, this is good. I never considered you to be a bad boyfriend, or friend, or anything like that. It's more like… we both were bad people to begin with, and we became better together. And I was honestly so happy to have you with me, going through both of our problems together, ya' know?"

"Y-yeah! I was too! I'm honestly… um, happy that you've decided to-to have me be a-a part of your life!" Evan blurted out, genuinely agreeing to his own words. Connor could see that the situation did have an effect on his anxiety, noted from Evan's grip on the grass.

"See? That's good, right? Which is why I want to continue this relationship. I think we were already developing, and we can develop more. I love you, Evan, and I have no doubt you love me too. If we love each other, than I'll be more than happy to have you in my life. Oh! This is my choice, Evan. I want to be in a relationship with you were we—"

He heard gentle sobs. They were quiet, but in such a calming environment, the sobs were amplified by the lack of noise. Connor glanced over, to find that Evan had buried his face in his hands as his shoulders shook with his sobs. Connor felt his nose sour, as he opened his arms and brought Evan into an embrace. He gently pat Evan's back, as Evan pressed his face against Connor's chest.

Even through sobs, Evan managed to let out his reasons for crying. The pent up stress of Connor rejecting his suggestion to continue their relationship, the fear of his opinion of Evan being negative and the general fear of the reasoning behind the rejection were top priority in his explanation. Connor could not help but sympathising with him, and pulled Evan closer.

In their conspicuous hiding place within earshot, the trio had been relieved. Alana and Zoe were hugging each other out of joy, excited to finally have the two back together. Jared simply sat back down on the grass with relief, trying to calm the two girls to alerting the two.

You have come to the end of 'Dear Crush!' by DanmakuExpress. We do hope you have enjoyed your trip!

Get it, cuz my alias sounds like a train…

Anyways, I genuinely hope that was uplifting. This is officially the end of this story! Now, I'm not sure if I'll be doing bonus chapters, simply because I feel like I should just end this as it is; it is a cute a fluffy ending. I also know that this is shorter, but who would want to read a dragged out piece about these final lines?

Yeah! So, uh, if you like my stuff, do follow me for any future books!

Okay, hope you all have a nice day =3