Random Fandom Rants

Fandom Rants 5 The Authors

When the book is going fantastically, and your OTP is just about to kiss-
This happens:
A) That was the last chapter. *Looks at last updated timer* March, 2011.
Shit.
B) 'Hi. This is Jay's friend. Jay is busy with school and has lost love for this fandom. Although Jay said he had 5 chapters already written, I'm not going to publish them because I'm a little bitch and haven't read the last chapter because I'm lazy as fuck, and can't figure out that Jay's left you in a cliffhanger for the rest of your life. So this book is finished. Bye. Jay's friend.'
Well, FUCK YOU TOO!

When authors start with facts books, or quotes, or whatever, then devolve into chapters full of memes. Excuse you, but I wanted what you were writing, not reposted pictures I've already seen in the first 3 rows on Google Images! Also, I can't see them when I'm off the internet, so your book is useless to me!
It starts out good, then it seems like they've just given up.

Now, I understand that people can be 'Triggered' by things. I understand that it can be brought about by reading about swearing, abuse, self-harm, etc. My very basic understanding is that it brings back bad memories. I don't really understand that much about it, because I'm not bothered by these things and thus haven't researched it.
But one thing I know for sure?
We are going overboard.
A really big example of overboardingness is when a book has suicide in the TITLE of the book, but the author hasn't putting trigger warnings on the description. Then the author gets hate comments because they didn't say anything about triggers, and they have to PUBLICLY APOLOGISE for not saying the story contains triggering suicide.
. . .
What kind of world do we fucking live in if it's the author's fault you can't see 'Suicide' in the title of the book you're reading and connect the dots that it probably has suicide in it?! That is no one's fault but your own if you are that dumb. (Or your parents' for not teaching you common fucking sense.)
To the author who is probably not even ever going to read this, I apologise on behalf of those idiotically stupid people, and remind you: "Fuck them. It's not your fault."

AUTHOR NOTES:

Excessive
She put on her green T-shirt. (I made the T-shirt green because I like the colour green.) Picking up her strawberry jam on toast, she headed out the door to school. (Strawberry jam was the first thing I thought of.) The bus was late and she sat down to wait for it. (She sat down because she got bored.)
We don't fucking care why you picked those things! It's your story-You can make them wear bloody polka dots if you want! You don't have to explain every little choice you make.
We just want the story! Fuck off with the useless ANs!

Laziness Part 1 (All MLC examples)
Marinette shouted 'Spots on!" and transformed into Ladybug. (Too lazy to write the transformation. Just imagine it.)
... She threw her yoyo into the air after the akuma. (You remember the catching thing right? Can't be bothered to write it out fully.)
... "Miraculous Ladybug!" she yelled. (All those sparkles and stuff.)
Those are vital parts of the fight scene! You can't just not have them! And really, that sparkles one could've been out of the AN.
What happens if someone hadn't watched the show and had just been introduced to MLC by your story? They won't understand anything at all! (I did actually get intro'd to MLC via a fanfic. Luckily, it was one of the really well written ones, and made me want to learn the actual series it was based on. And thus started my decent into Miraculous trash...)
You need to explain some of these things. You can't expect your readers to know exactly what is going on unless you explain it!
This is also another example of excessive ANs that I dislike.

Laziness Part 2 (Valid for every superhero/solider/fighter story)
Ladybug and Chat fought Simon Says by flinging the yoyo and staff towards him. (Don't know how to write fight scenes.) In the end, they won.
LB and CN literally every episode physically fight a villian. You actually do need good fight scenes. Just like FT, AoT, Black Butler, Avengers, Superman, Spiderman, TMI, THG, any of those types of stories, there are fight scenes in the episodes/movies/books, so you have to expect fight scenes in the fic. At least if it's not all shipping stories or an AU.
If you don't know how to write fight scenes don't write a MLC fic! They are about fighting people! If you can't do it, don't cheapen your work by totally failing at fight scenes. I get it, you love the show and want to write about them. But then make it an AdrieNette story/AU instead of a LadyNoir fic, okay? Thanks.

Laziness Part 3
At the end of the fight, she threw the arrow into the air and everything went back to normal. (I can't remember the name of the spell she uses.)
It literally takes 5 minutes to type 'Miraculous episode 1 fight' into Youtube (or any other episode) and watch the scene to find out what she says then. And really, a fan should know that by heart, if only because it got stuck in your head because she says it like 28 times!
If you don't know the simplest things about the series you're writing about, you lose all credibility straight away.

POVs:

When there are Main Characters POV s all over the place.
Real books don't do that. At best, if it's Jasons POV, they put just Jason at the top of the page and continue on. Why do people put POV on top of everything? It's pretty obvious if it changes perspective when it goes from Jason and I to Piper and I.

When it's Authors or Nobodys or Readers or Normal POV... There is no such thing!
If you are doing POV style narration, you can't just have Narrations Narration. It doesn't work like that!
POV is a first person narrative. That means you have to have someone in the story narrating it. The only way you would be able to get around that was if it was in third person, but even then, it has to be from someone's perspective, it can't be the all seeing Narrator if you've had actual characters heading the last three chapters.
And usually Authors POV is 3 lines then it gets changed to an actual characters POV. What's the point?

POV gets switched 4 times in a single 500 word chapter. That's a bit much, don't ya think?
Why not just have one characters POV for that chapter. It's only 500 words! It isn't that difficult!

Or when authors do it to signify a time skip?
That makes absolutely no sense and confuses the hell out of me every bloody time. I mean, come on! It's still Hiccups POV, even if he's just woken up. It hadn't changed! We didn't see Astrid sharpening her axe while Hiccup was in dreamland, so we don't need to know it's still Hiccups POV! We know! It didn't change!
Besides, to signify a time skip, real authors in real books use these little things... They're called 'Asterisks'.
*Tried to find a way to get Astrid into Asterisks, but failed so gave up.*

Did you notice something I'm missing in this section?
These things ' ' ' ' .
So many people forget that a POV needs an apostrophe, because it's possessive. Astrids POV and Astrid's POV are totally different.
If you need to figure out how to write it, type it out fully! Astrid's point of view makes grammatical sense. Astrids point of view just looks wrong, doesn't it? So why do you forget about apostrophes?!

* * *
(See how much difference it makes?!)