Random Fandom Rants

21 RL Year 8

SERIOUS
Don't misunderstand me. This is not a cry for help. I was never depressed, suicidal. I never even thought of that stuff. (I was lonely, sure, but not enough to kill myself! I happen to like living.)
This is not a pity story. This is just something that I had to tell someone, to get it off my chest. Turns out that someone is you.

Names are changed, for both my sake and theirs. After all, they don't know I'm writing this, and even if they are reading it, I doubt they can figure out I am the one writing it. But if you do think you know, and you think all the clues match up, PM me. See if you're right. Or go on YouTube and see if you recognise me.

In year 8, we had an influx of students from three different primary schools. We went from 80 students in one year level, who knew everyone's last name and favourite colour, because we had basically grown up with them all for 8 years, then suddenly, there were all these strangers. Our level went from 3 small classes to 6 full ones. And many friendship groups broke up, mainly because there were new people, but also because we were 12/13 and growing up.
But I isolated myself.
There were all these people who I didn't know, and didn't trust. How was I to make friends with these people who I didn't even vaguely know? So instead of making friends, I hid in books. In those worlds, I didn't have to make friends, because the characters just were. I could leave all those people behind.

I love my books, but it hadn't ever gotten that serious before or since.
It got to the point where I didn't talk to anyone except when I had to. The classroom would open, and I would be the first one in, just so I could get one more page read before class started. I wouldn't put it away until I really needed to. Because I didn't really talk to anyone, I didn't make any friends out of the new students. And because I had no friends, I was the loser who collected their books at the start of the break, and went and sat by the door of their next class, eating and reading.
I was the person who talked more to the teacher on duty (or should I say, the teacher talked to me) than any other student around. I particularly remember my year 7 and 8 RE teachers who talked to me. Must've been the Christian in them. But my year 7 teacher, Mrs Jacks, whenever she saw me, would be sure to ask, "What book is it this time?" My year 8 RE teacher, Miss Zemara, would open the class earlier for me if we had a class after a break. Miss Zemara was nice, she let me read until I absolutely had to stop.
My other year 8 teachers got used to it. They got used to me having a book open in their class. I was one of those people who, whenever the teacher paused for a water break, went back to reading. Whenever there was a gap, I was reading.

Every time the library was open, I was in there, getting a new book. It got to the stage that I was literally reading a book per day. The library was open for 20 minutes before class started and open for an hour after school ended. I was in there every morning, looking for a new book. The 3 librarians knew me by name and could recite my library borrow number from memory. Even the new librarian, who came in for my yr 12 year, had memorized my number (as you can see, I may have gotten better, but I was still a bookworm) by 5 months.
Most of year 8 went like that. Reading in breaks, when walking home from school. I was lonely, but that's why I had books. Because I was never really alone when I had the characters around me.
So many times I got into trouble from Dad, because "If you've got your nose in a book, you'll get run over by a car." I could never understand that. "That's why you've got ears, isn't it?"
And as for tripping or smashing into something when reading a book, I couldn't understand that either. You don't hold the book up to your face. You have the book in the centre, and look around it. "Doesn't everyone?" Turns out, no. Some people are idiots and don't know how to do 3 things at once (breathe, walk, read).
Anyway, so that was most of year 8, and even the begining of 9.