Random Fandom Rants

Fandom Rants 4 The Fics (Also called: Wattpad... Again)

Now, so you know why there isn't a lot about originals in here, I read a lot more fanfiction than originals on Wattpad.

WATTPAD:

In my 'New Finds' and 'Hidden Gems' sections, I do not want books with 22K reads!
Not to sound bitter or anything, but THEY AREN'T HIDDEN OR NEW IF THEY'VE BEEN UP FOR TWO YEARS AND HAVE ALL THOSE VIEWS! Fuck off and give me actual new ones! Thank you!

You give me another recommendation for books I've already read, and actually still have in my library... I'll fucking yell at you again, like I have ALLLLLL the other times.

When there are less than 10 chapters to stories (I mean, not on-going books, obviously, but completed books) and there's 5 more 'books' in the series.
You should be able to fit that into the first book, right? Even if you have a seperater chapter, so the books are spilt, but having 6 10-chapter books is kind of annoying. Just add them together.
I myself click the little 'select chapter amount' button when I customise the search, because I find that little amount of chapters annoying. You can't even call that a book, really. Most published books, unless they are for 10-year-olds, are more than 20 chapters.

When you're looking for new books to read, and you forget to check
A) If completed
B) Last updated
C) Hiatus mode on/off
D) If it's the same author through the whole book (Trust me, you need to check this!)
E) Number of chapters
F) Tags (*JeanMarco* *AU* *Major Character Death*)
Fuck.

LOVE:

Too many xReaders.
I personally don't like xReader type fanfics. If I want to read a book's fanfic, I want characters actually in the series. I also find the use of y/n and h/c and e/c and h/l and y/f/c really annoying and that it breaks up the story you're trying to tell.
But seriously, there's too many of them. I mean, I get why people want to read them, but I don't want to, so stop showing up on my recommended, or when I search specific ships that I want to read.

And it doesn't work when the character Reader is suppost to fall in love with is a character who's already in a canon relationship. I mean, yes, if that ship is something most people hate, but if it's a ship everyone loves...
Take PercAbeth, for example...
Who the fuck would break apart the ship that we've been rooting for for 10 years!?!
Percy and Annabeth FELL INTO TARTARUS FOR EACH OTHER! I seriously doubt anything Reader could do would beat that!
This also goes for PercyxOC.
Frankly put, it doesn't work! (Ha. Frankly...)
If I want to read a Percy fic, it's gonna be PercAbeth. Or PerAchel if I want to kill myself. I do not need all this PercyxReader shit when I search for PercAbeth. (Also... Why tag it PercAbeth if it's a fucking Reader?!? Keep them fucking seperate!)
Percy and Annabeth are forever and always, and there's nothing you or the gods, especially Hera, that bitch, will be able to do about it.

Instalove is its own little section. (Kinda like how werewolves books are its own little genre section here on WP.)
Look, I get it. The protag in a romance needs a love interest.
But when you've just met the guy/girl, and you become 😍, hate to tell you this, but that isn't love. That's called lust.
Love takes time, and effort, and actually knowing someone-their likes and dislikes, their hobbies and weird habits. When you 'love' someone a minute after meeting them, you like their looks. Because, really, that's all you'll know about a person in a minute.

Instralove-Werewolf Style
I meet her for the first time. I smell her neck, ignoring her personal space. I suddenly know-She's my mate. So I must make sure she is safe from other males, even her brothers, and I want her to live with me, and I love her because she is my mate, and I immediately fall in love with my mate because I own her now.
... Um, sure buddy. Keep dreamin'.
One of the books I read had Ks of reads, yet was literally written like a bad Twilight fic. The problem? It was an original story. But it had all the cliches-Big bad alpha, shy fragile female wolf, meets for the first time, then suddenly having a tour of her house, I love yous said the 4th! chapter in. Then, surprise, surprise! Although they haven't mated yet, they have the mating bond, and Alpha dude can tell his little mate is hiding being the strongest wolf in her pack.
... No wonder I stopped reading halfway through Ch.5.
... How the hell did I even last until Ch.5?

FICS:

Miraculous is set in France. Thus, they speak French. It doesn't matter if you watch the dubbed or subbed, you should know that they are speaking French.
However, the amount of times 'English' is said in fanfics instead of 'French', as in "Marinette watched Adrien smile and lost the ability to speak English properly"-My god, it's way too much!
But it is mostly the dub watchers who make this mistake. (We can tell because you write 'Cat Noir' instead of 'Chat Noir', among other things.)
They may do that because they don't get reminded because they can't hear them speaking French, but they don't seem to have that problem with Japanese anime. They remember that they are speaking Japanese. I've only encountered a few that say English for Japanese, French a lot more.
And just for those who say, they were probably taught it as a second language... All well and good, but for the situation above, who has ever been able to speak a second language fluently enough that they weren't taught from the cradle, especially when they're 14/15, to lose that fluency when they could just use their natural language instead?
Again, so you get the point: They're in France, they speak FRENCH.

With PJ fanfics, or HoO, or even other non-PJ but still Greek God stuff... Authors mix up their myths and say things like 'Achilles and the Golden Fleece'.
*cough* I think the name you're looking for is Jason.
I have always loved the myths. I grew up knowing about the gods and the Zodiac and Zeus' many, many, many children. So I have, even before PJ made it popular in 2005, known many of the myths and catch out many people making wrong references to it.
If you are trying to do a PJ story, make sure you research your myths before writing anything to do with the gods. Don't just reread PJ either. Uncle Rick does stay close to the stories, but there are alternative versions, or even *gasp!* other myths that Rick doesn't use, that you can instead of trying to rehash the same old ones.

This is a one time thing that I found, but it annoyed me so much I deleted it from my library. Harsh, I know, especially as it was only one sentence, but still!
The symbol that was drawn on Hiccup's forehead at the end of HTTYD2 is the symbol of his chief status. It was drawn on by the elder and is a physical reminder of his chiefiness. It is also a kind of religious ceremony, as Odin is a leader as well.
You can't make Hiccup, five minutes after the ceremony, go into his house and just "wash it off"!
For an example of how horrible this idea is, here's a Christian scenario (Apologies if you aren't Christian, but this is the first thing that came into my head as an example):
Don't you have Ash Wednesday in America? You know, where the priest draws the cross on your forehead with the ashes? You don't wipe it off! It's a symbol of your forgiveness from your sins. And it's not like it will hurt you if you leave it on your skin. It is ash, it will fall off during the day. Okay, yes, I have seen people wiping it off as soon as they are out of sight, but that's because they don't believe in the Christian God, so they have a reason.
Hiccup would not just "wash it off". That would be an affront to the gods, and gods were the big pushers in the Viking times. Offending them would likely get you killed, or even stop you from getting into Valhalla or Folkvanger if you pissed them off enough. And Odin would probably take personal offense to Hiccup doing that too, since it is his symbol that is casually getting washed down the drain.
So why would he do that!?! It's basically suicide!

If your fanfic is set more than 200 years ago, you need to remember-No Modernity!
That means no digital clocks (or even analog-just water clocks or hourglasses), no fridges, no "LOL, soz".
If Hiccup is looking at the sky to see what time it is, he wouldn't say, "Oh, probably three O'Clock or three-thirty." Points for remembering to check the sun, but there is no 'O'Clock' back then. Time back then was based on hours before or after sunrise, sunset, noon, moonrise or moonset (Be careful with those last two though. They were usually only used by priests/priestesses, and are quite temperamental). So instead, have "three hours past noon" or "nine after sun-up".

If your character has just lost their parent or a dear friend and is in mourning, they sit/lay on their bed for days, not eating, talking or sleeping, only getting up to shower or go to the toilet.
I'm sorry, but not eating, yet still showering? Showering is one of the first things to go. If you're not doing anything, just in bed, you don't need to shower, because you won't care about cleanliness.
So many characters are apparently so sad they won't eat, but will still get up to shower every second day. Totally makes sense, right?
Hell, I last a week without showering if I really need to. (That sounds way worse than it actually is. Easter holiday I go camping at a old mine in the middle of the bush with my family. We have to ration water, food, everything, because it's a long way to buy it. Everyone flannel-washes there, no showers. But everyone stinks, so it's fine.)