The Weasley twins and me!

Letting it out

I did not really sleep over the next few days. Instead I stayed in my bed the whole time, refusing to talk to anyone. One morning I lay listening to Tonks and Remus talk near my door.

“What do you want me to do about it?” Tonks asked. I could hear Remus’s sigh.

“She won’t talk to me or Sirius. She might talk to you. I can’t stand seeing her like this. All she says is that Cedric’s death was her fault. Please Tonks, she’s going into depression.” He pleaded with her.

“Okay but don’t shout at me if I get no where.” She snapped.

“Thank you.” I heard Remus say. I heard their footsteps move away. I was so tired but I could not sleep. Every time I close my eyes Cedric’s body is in my mind, then my stomach turns and my heart pains. I know I have done this, I know it was my entire selfish fault. If I told anybody they would surly hate me. I heard a slight knock on the old black wooden door leading to my bedroom. I did not answer. Tonk’s head peered around the door with a glass of water. She gave a wide grin and came in. She held out the glass to me but I did not take it. As she placed it to the side of me her usual pink bubble gum hair faded to a mousy brown. She pulled an old rickety chair next to my bed and sat down. She made a loud popping noise and I glared at her. She sat there like a child her lips pursed.

“So what’s up?” She asked rocking on the chair. I stared at her childishness for a while.

“I heard Remus talking to you.” I croaked. She stopped rocking and looked serious for once.

“Oh, you did? Well everyone is worried about you.” She said gently placing her hand on mine. I looked down at it and returned my gaze to a random spot in the room. I could feel Tonk’s gaze on my face. I heard a heavy sigh. “They do care about you. Please I want to help you. Why is Cedric’s death your fault?” She asked timidly. My eye looked straight into hers. Her feelings were genuine. Even as I thought about it my body went limp and tears bubbled up in my eyes. I took a deep breath.

“If I told anyone, they would hate me; I could even go to Azkaban.” I began to say. She looked at me with pleading eyes to go on.

“Why, what is it?” she asked again. As I looked away her hand on my cheek brought me back. “Its okay I won’t bite, and if you don’t want me to tell anyone I won’t. Trust me its better to get things off of your chest.” She said in a calm tone.

“You mean with you and Remus.” I said softly. She gave a weak smile and her hair turned a light shade of blue.

“Yes, so? Can you tell me?” She asked. I took a deep breath. My body was aching for me to tell her, but my brain was holding me back. A shiver went up my spine as I considered telling her.

“I…I…” I could not bring myself to say it. She looked at me with the straightest of faces. Then she suddenly formed her mouth in a beak of a duck. Just for a split second but it made me laugh for the first time in days. I gulped and forced myself to continue. “After the second trial I was attacked. And I lied I do know who attacked me.” I said quietly.

“Who was it?” she asked her eyes gleaming.

“It was Bar… Barty Crouch.” I whispered. I saw a confused expression cross over her face.

“Well you weren’t to know…” she said slowly.

“I did know! I knew that Professor Moody was really Barty Crouch Jr.” I snapped. I could see the hurt come over her body.

“Well he can easily manipulate somebody.” She tried to explain. She stumbled a bit in her words. I took another deep breath.

“No, he was not manipulating me. I purposely thought I could change him.” I said looking down. Tonks sat there very still, trying to process the information.