Same Mistakes

Chapter 36

HARRY'S POV:

I pace back and forth in my bedroom deciding whether or not to talk to Niall. After hearing everything that Stephanie told me about what happened in the gym i considered talking to him. I don't know what todo though. I can't even find the words to say when i have him face to face.

If you hadn't been an asshole and rape Steph, non of this would have happened. My fucking subconscious reminds me. Every time i remember that night i feel disgust climbing onto me. I wonder how she feels around me. She's never mentioned it and she doesn't seem to have any hatred towards me.

I find myself dialing Niall's number but i quickly hang up knowing that he won't answer. I might as well just drive to his house. As i walk out of my bedroom, the fact that is house seems so lonely without the guys, sinks in. How did we all go our separate ways? I mean, we do still hang out once in a while but Niall always finds an excuse to not come along, knowing that i will be there. Louis didn't come home last night but he called this morning letting me now that he spent the night at Anna's and would be back after work.

I grab my car keys and i begin the long drive to Niall's house. Why the fuck would he move 25 minutes away. Steph only lives about ten minutes away. The unwanted fact that Katie lives the same amount of distance that Niall does, taunts me through the whole ride.

He's been spending way too much time around, but then again i can't be a fucking hypocrite because i've done the same with steph, and worse. He knows how much Katie means to me and i would never change her for another girl, not even steph who is hot as fuck.

Im all caught up in my own thoughts, that i nearly pass his house. This place is fucking huge. I step out of my car closing the door behind me. Hesitantly, i take a moment to think straight before ringing the door bell.

As soon as the door opens im taken aback when Katie stands in front of me. She stares at me, eyes wide open and i swear i could see the fear behind her bright eyes.

KATIE'S POV:

Here i stand looking like a complete idiot, eyes wide open, the fear creeping in and marking it's fucking footprints on every inch of my body. Calm down it's only Harry. I tell myself

"I... Where's Niall? What are you doing here?" He shoots at me.

"He's in the bathroom. He.. He invited Ariana and me for diner." I shouldn't be explaining this to him. It's none of his business anyways.

His angry eyes are replaced with low eyes and the pain i see behind his green eyes hurts me more than it should.

"Are you scared?" He stutters to let the question fall from his lips.

"Scared of what?"

"Of me... Are you scared of him." Im taken aback by his confusing question.

Why would i be scared of him? My mind struggles for a response. The eye contact between us continues and i feel pressured. Not because i feel the need to answer him but pressured by all the thoughts and reasonable reasons of why i probably am terrified of him. I love him, oh boy do i love this man standing in front of me, but no matter how many times i convince myself that he has changed he does something to make regret my decision.

Honestly i am scared of him. I know he would never hurt me, physically at least. Im scared that im not good enough for him. Im scared that he only sees me as i target. Im scared that there will come a day when he will find someone he will love. And im scared that, that someone would be Steph. Im scared, not of him, but scared of what will come because of him.

"Are you?" Im brought back from my thoughts when he asks again.

"No. Well.. I don't know."

"How do you..." He pauses and i turn around me to find Niall standing behind me.

"What are you doing here?" I've never heard Niall talk this way. He sounds so serious, angry even.

"We need to talk." Harry answers his question.

"Come in." Niall says. "We'll be in my room. Make yourself at home." He says to me before they disappear behind the door of his room.

NIALL'S POV:

"Talk about what?" I pout like a little boy that is being scolded.

" About Steph, about Katie, about everything that happened Niall." Harry says and i can see straight through him, the tiredness that he has for long been holding onto.

"What is there to talk? You raped my girl, or scratch that, you guys went behind my back playing me like an idiot." I harshly remark.

"No. You got it all wrong Niall. She loves you. I was the fucking dick face that raped her. I know you think differently because we've been hanging out a lot but honestly i don't understand myself why. That night, the one when i went to her house and you were drunk, remember?" I nod, leading him to continue. "Well before i went over, i called her to let her know how truly sorry i was. I know a simple sorry doesn't change a thing but its still something. I called her anyways and she told me how worried she was because you were missing. I wanted her to see that i was sorry so i offered to help look for you." He's out of breath but opens his mouth to continue. I interrupt before he can go on.

" you could have called me and asked me where i was." I say.

"You wouldn't have answered. You nearly beat the shit out of me that day." He sighs.

I don't know what to think. I miss Steph so fucking much but when she started hanging out with Harry after everything he did i started to believe that she might have cheated on me with him.

"If you guys didn't go behind my back, then why is she still hanging out with you?" I dare to ask, unsure if i really want to hear the answer.

"I don't know Niall. I guess ever since you left her she feels like she can trust me or something. I honestly don't know. But what i do know is that she loves you and she would never trade you for anyone." He says and i believe him.

I saw myself how much harm im doing to her. I saw it at the gym, i saw it the day i left her. She's been going through pain because of me! The thought sickens me and i can't help but feel guilty. This is not what i wanted. I just wanted her to feel the way i felt about her betrayal, which happened to be all in my mind. I can't believe i was stupid enough to think she would cheat on me.

"Do you think she will forgive me?" I ask Harry.

He shrugs and gives me his best 'i don't know face'.

"I bet she will though. If you try hard enough. Try to win her back." He adds.

He quietly gets up from the edge of my bed and begins to walk to the door.

"Harry wait."

"What is it?"

"Katie is just a friend. Don't worry about me and her." I say and watch as relief piles up on his face.

"Thanks lad."

This Harry is much better than the asshole Harry i used to know. It suddenly hits me that he has finally found someone he truly cares about. He doesn't just see Katie as a one night stand. He actually cares, and there is no way i would ever take something so precious from him. I've been acting like a complete asshole these two weeks and im getting tired of it. It's just not me. I really hope Steph forgives me for everything. I just want to hold her tight. I want to feel the way her heart beats when her chest is against mine. Man, i hadn't realized how much i have missed her.