Slow Love

Clearing The Air

Clearing the Air/After Talk

I wake up from my nap in his arms. His grip is loose so he's napping as well. I love to wake him up, but I'm going to just stay still and rest as I'm supposed to do. He is so toasty warm and I love soaking him up. His shirt has a deep V, so that chest hair is hanging out, taunting me. I know if I do anything, he will come alive. What a stressful afternoon. I think I've conveyed all my feelings about this house, or, should I say 'our home'. I have to hand it to him, he handled it really well. I am going to try my best to make this house work out for us. It is too late to start over and build another one. If he gives me time, I know I'll be alright with it. Also, if he does the things I told him that I need to make this house feel like home to me, I should be good to go. As much as I'd like to go back to Paisley as soon as possible, I'll compromise and stay here as long as he wants to. It is warm, cozy and I am getting more comfortable here. I do need to talk to him though about leaving me alone in the morning. He rarely leaves me to wake up alone at Paisley and I cannot begin to figure why he's doing it now. I need to find out. 

He's moving now, so my Sugar Bear's waking up. "Baby, you awake?" "Yes, Sweetheart. I'm getting hungry, are you?" "Baby, let's go see what we can warm up. The fridge is full and I'm sure we can find something good to eat." He kisses me and gets out of bed, helping me out behind him. We go out to the kitchen and search through the the fridge and decided to warm up some soup with a salad on the side. "Baby, will you fix me a grilled cheese too? Please?" "Sure Sweetheart, I'd like to have one too. I'm really hungry tonight." He makes the spinach salad with walnuts and apple slices while I warm the soup. I fix the grilled cheese sandwiches keeping an eye on the pot of soup heating up. 

He helps me get the soup and sandwiches to the table along with his salad. Before we sit, I reach over and take his hand as I say a prayer of thanks for our dinner. Afterwards, he pulls my chair out for me., "Baby, thanks for making the grilled cheese for me. It is one of my favorites." "Sweetheart, it's mine too. You are welcome." While we are eating our dinner, I decide to talk to him about a few things. 

"Sweetheart, why are you leaving me alone in the morning before I wake up?" "Baby, I am just so excited to have the new studio in this house. I want to get into it. The sound board in the studio has that clickin' to it like one of my earlier studios and I love that sound. I've been tinkering with it and I just can't believe I have that old sound back. It is like those hot-rodded boards like, back in the day, I used in the studios in Los Angeles. It sounds like what goes on in my head. I wake up excited to go in and play around with it... I thought I'd never hear that sound again! I'm sorry for deserting you in the morning, I was just letting you get your rest and sleep. I won't leave you in the morning Baby, I love holding and waking you up." 

"Thank-you Sweetheart. I've been thinking about something else. Do you miss creating music like you used to? I mean, with the new sound system you seem to have a renewed interest in creating more music. Is that what you feel you need to focus on now?" He exhales a deep breath, lays his spoon down with a stern look on his face and pushes his chair out, away from the table. Taking my hand and pulling me over to him to sit on his lap he says, "Baby, let me tell you something and make myself perfectly clear. You are my main focus; only  you. I waited my entire life for you and I want to spend the rest of my life focusing on you, enjoying you and loving you. I've had my music for 55 years, without love in my life. Because it was my main focus all those years, it... crippled me in a sense, prevented me from doing anything else, BUT music. I sang all those years about finding my true love. Now that I have found my true love, my soulmate, I want to spend my remaining years focusing on that love. Being consumed in it, intoxicated in it, making it the number one priority in my life. Before, music was always first until you walked back into my life. Loving you has calmed the need to create non stop. The music doesn't rage through my head anymore. I can control it, creating when I want to without the urgency to get it out. Loving you gave me peace in my heart, my soul and my mind I searched and longed for, all those years. My focus is You and only You. You are my number one priority and focus. Am I making myself perfectly clear?"