Slow Love

Chapter 28-Saturday

I wake up and he is sitting there writing in his purple notebook. I feel terrible. My body feels like led. I say to him. "Good Morning Sweetheart, can you get my pain meds quick please?" He looks at me and says, "Good morning Baby, what's wrong." I said, "Get the pain meds quick!"He jump out of bed and returns quickly with them. I told him, You are going to have to lift my head up and give it to me. I can't do it. He looked panicked. I said, "I've had this happen before, I'll be OK,just get those pain meds down me." He did and wanted to call an ambulance. I said, "No,no. I know what's happened. I had this reaction before. I over did it yesterday and my body has basically shut down so it can rest and heal. I will be OK. I know you are scared and it scared me the first time it happened, but I will be OK.   I need you to stay with me, OK?" He agreed. I told him to hold me.He got back in bed and cradled me. I told him, I'll be OK, just keep an eye on me in case something changes. This is going to take awhile. This will take a few hours to pass, OK?" He said he would not leave me. I said, "Here's what happened. I had a major assault on my body this week. It is trying to heal. It needs a lot of rest to heal. I over did it yesterday and it has shut down so I have to rest.  It is making the decision for me. I know I look like dead warmed over and I can tell by the look on your face that you are scared. It scared me the first time it happened. I know I will be OK. I just need someone here to make sure it does not go into something else. Got it?" He said "Yes I won't leave you Baby. I will be here for you. What do you want me to do?"

I said, "Put your hand where you can feel my pulse and make sure I breath normally." If anything changes, call 911. I have to sleep this off. So help me get back to sleep, OK. He kisses me and sings to me and I know this is just scaring him to death. The pain meds kick in and fast asleep I go. I wake up and feel much better. He is looking at me with that same look I left him with. I say to him, "I'm back with you." He has been crying and looks worse than I felt earlier. He hugs me and says, "I was so afraid God was taking you from me. I've been praying this whole time." I said, "Aww Sweetheart, I told you I'd be OK and I feel better now. But I have to rest or it will happen again. It is just my body telling me to slow down. What time is it." He says, a little after 5. I said, what time is you video shoot? He said, I'm going to cancel it. I said, "I know you. You can shoot that thing straight forward and be done with it on the first take. Just have Patrick come sit with me while you are gone." He said, "Are you sure?" I said, "Yes, the worse is over but I still would feel better if someone is here." He got up and called down to Patrick and told him he needs him to stay." He looks at me and says, "Baby, I do not want anything to happen to you. Are you sure?" I said,  "I'll be OK, but you need to get me to the bathroom so I can pee.OK?" He gets me up and I get to the bathroom just in time. I was doing OK. I got back to him and he helped me back to bed. He said,"Do you need anything else. I said, yes, Food. When you go, have Patrick bring something up to me,OK?"  I did feel like I had been hit by a bus, but it was way better than earlier. He gets ready fo rthe video shoot and stays with me until the last minute. Patrick arrives with food and he kisses me goodbye. He brought a chair in the bedroom for Patrick and he got me braced up with pillows so I could sit up and eat. Patrick says to me, "G, you look awful,what happened?" I said, "Patrick, I over did it yesterday and my body rebelled and shut down. I had this happen before so I knew what it was but it scared the pants off of him." He said, "Are you OK now?" I said, "Pretty much." I just have to rest so I can heal or this will happen again and I don't want to scare him like that twice." We both chuckled. Patrick said, "Cathy told me everything about your surgery. How did it go?" I said, "Went well until today." Patrick, I have some really funny stuff that happened with him at the hospital. I already told Cathy yesterday but I think you will enjoy it. He was all ears. I finished my dinner and he took the tray to the kitchen and I got comfortable. I told him about P wanting to pick the size and he just roared and then I told him about the bed and the staff and the flowers and just about everything. He got a good laugh out of it. I had just finished and there he is. He thanked Patrick and dismissed him.  He asked me, "Baby, how are you feeling." I said better but still not wonderful. He said, "I need to change and take a shower. Will you be OK for that long?" I said,"How about we take a shower together? It is more than big enough for us both." He looks at me and says, "Baby, I don't know if I can do that. I said, sure you can. Just keep playing in your mind what happened today and I'm sure you can manage it. Look at this way,it will make me feel better. Please?" He reluctantly agrees. He helps me up and into the bathroom and sits me in the chair. He goes back and gets undressed and returns with a robe on. He looks to me for direction.  I point to the wrap and tell him to bring it to me. He helps me put it on the bandages. Then he helps me in to the shower  bench. I sit down and I'm ready to go. He washes my hair for me and washes me. Oh yeah. I get to watch him and that beautiful body. My eye candy for the day and I'm loving it.  He notices me looking at him and says, "Like what you see." I said, "Yes, very much. I haven't seen it for awhile and am missing it." He says, "Baby, I miss you too." He finished and dried off and got me out and dried me. He put lotion all over me and I helped him put lotion on him. We smelled really good. I am hoping that lavender sent will help me relax and sleep well. He takes me back and gets my nightgown and helps me put it on and gets me back into bed. He puts on some PJ pants and slides in cozies up to me and says, "Baby, you really scared me today. I thought for sure God was going to take you from me.  I just could not believe it was happening.  I prayed the whole time you were asleep until you came back to me. I thought God was punishing me." I got it together and said, "God does not punish us like that, he is not a vengeful God. If I had thought I was going to die, I would've had you call 911 immediately. I'm sorry you had to witness that, but I think you fully understand now why the Dr was giving strict orders. No extraneous activity for two weeks. I could pleasure you right now and you would be very happy but do you want to have a replay tomorrow of today? I need to heal my body first and the way I do that is with rest." He said, "Baby, just get better. I understand now. I really do. I want you to be mine and if I loose you it will be my fault." I crawled up to him and took his head to my chest and said, "You are not going to loose me, I am here and I am with you. Just hold me. I can feel your love and it is a great comfort to me right now. I love how you hold me and caress me and sing to me. Those are all things that bind us together as one. I love you and I do not want to be apart from you." He took his head off my chest and looked at me and said, "Baby, I love you so much. I have waited my whole life for you. I prayed for God to send me an angel and he sent you. I don't want to do anything to loose you. Anything. My heart, my mind, my body and soul are at peace for the first time in my life. I know it is because you are now a part of my life. I will do what ever I need to keep you in my life. I am happy, truly happy now that you are here in my life. I said, "Sweetheart, you have me for this journey for how ever long it takes. I want to enjoy it with you because I love you. We have barely tipped the ice-burg. I have been here less than 3 weeks. I have no idea where this is taking us. I want to be sure 100% that I want to continue on this journey for a lifetime. This has turned my world upside down and inside out and it terrifies me because it has happen so fast. I really do want to take our time and take it slow. I trust you andlove you unconditionally. Our week at the house in the Caribbean was amazing. We grew as a couple. I am looking forward to going back there on Monday. We are talking now because of a crisis. I would rather be having this conversation with you out of love.  He says"Baby, I don't know what to say. That was really deep. I have always controlled everything in my life. Since you have been here, I have released that control and found that I am happier. You convinced me to go to the Caribbean last week and it was the best decision to have done that. The other me, would not have agreed to that. I am finding that with you and the direction you give me, it is really better. I love you unconditionally and trust you. Let's get ready tomorrow for our trip Monday. You rest and I'll pack. I am looking forward to it as well. Last week was amazing, I agree. I have never connected on that level with anyone like I connected with you there.  I did not want it to end. We have plenty of time to figure this out.  I am scared too. I will take it slow. You are right again, we should be having this conversation out of love, not crisis.  Baby, are you ready to go to sleep? I nodded my head yes. I kissed him the most passionate kiss and he held me tight. We settled in for the night and I could feel his love envelope me. He hummed in my ear a sweet melody and I drifted off to a sound sleep.  

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