Slow Love

Reconciliation

All I can do is pray our love is strong enough to persevere through this crisis. I do not want him to be afraid to touch me and love me. He has to work through this with me. He can't do this alone. I have to help him as best I can. I said to him, "Come on, we have to work through this. I know you are not going to hurt me. I love you." I kissed him with a slow trailing brush of my lips sealing on his. We inched our way to the bathroom and I turned on the bath. While the tub will filling, he took off the remaining body armor and my panties. He found all the marked spots and kissed them ever so gently. He tried to say, "Baby, I love you. I'm sorry....." I stopped him, putting my hand on his lips and said, " I love you and you've said that enough. I am not in pain. Please love me and don't treat me differently." I gave him a lingering kiss and tried to reassure him running my nails lightly across his back. He said,"Baby, my love has not changed. If anything, I love you even more." I said, "I need you right now, more than ever, to show me how much you love me. Can you do that for me?" With a lump in my throat, my voice quivering. He looked at me. You know, the eyes are the window to the soul. I could see straight down to his soul and it was speaking to me, with all the love and passion that is there. He took me over to the bath and helped me in and slid in behind me, putting his arms around my waist. Holding me but not caressing me. I took his hand underneath mine, I laid it on the belly spot. I did circular motions around it for him to feel it. He began to meticulously feel it gently outlining it. To me it was not small but in the big scheme of things, it probably is. It is at the end of the scar, I thought it was a scar adhesion. He said, "Baby, that tear is big." I said,"Dr Jones called it small. I have to be careful to not tear it any further." Kissing me on the neck and down to my shoulder, his hand is skimming over everything south of the border softly and landing on my centerpiece. I said, "Nah uh, not without the belly band." I moved his hand to my breasts, he exhaled heavily, feeling his warm breath on the back of my neck. His hand was hesitant and I did the same as before. With my guiding hand, he gained confidence and fully explored them. He could not, neither could I, feel the muscle tear up there but it did show it on the CT-scan. I saw it. It lays behind a lot of tissue. He played endlessly with the other twin, I was moaning and gasping with delight. My poor man, he wants to do more but I think he's still so scared to death he is going to hurt me. My body seemed to melt against his as I needed to feel his touch and warm embrace. He closed his arms around me and held me tightly against his body. He tightened his hands, pulled me closer as his mouth moved beneath mine, nibbled, sucked. It was a delicious torment. I stroked my hand over the luscious hair and muscles of his chest.  He said, "Baby, we better stop. I don't want to hurt you. I love you." 

He pushed up and out of the bathtub. I intently watched as he dried off, lusting for him even more. He began applying lotion and I said, "No, no. That's my job." He said, "Not tonite." That added to my angst, he thinks he is slowing my passion. He helps me out of the tub and dries me off. I get the lotion applied with little time spent to arouse me. I get help putting the body armor back on. I hate those compression garments. These are at least pretty with lace and don't look so bad. I may as well face it, this is going to be my life for the next couple months. With the exception,the next couple of weeks, we can have full on sex with this so called'protection'. After that, I'm on leave without privileges. He is taking it slow as to not harm me in any way. He walks me back to bed,sliding in behind me. Wrapping his arms around me, the world seem to dissolve and disappear. I crave for his touch,needing to be touched...needing to feel loved, needing to be loved.I could feel his loving touch, I could feel the heat that moved through me to my core, the need. I was speechless, nearly mindless. His hand slipped between my thighs and I cried out on a half whimper of pleasure as he touched my luscious, delicate, aching flesh. My passion was urgent, desperate, and critical, but he forced me to yield to his slow pace, his unhurried touch, bringing me, again and again, to the edge of rapture and then denying me, until I begged forit. His lips devoured mine; his tongue explored my mouth, my neck, and my ears.until I moaned and pleaded in need.