Slow Love

Face-To-Face

We slept through the night at the beach cabana. I wake to soft kisses on the back of my neck, "Babe, you awake?" Melding me tight to him, "Um-huh. Good morning Sweetheart." I roll over into him, kissing his neck. He's kissing my forehead and eyelids. "Baby, I love you so much. Can I hold you like this 4ever?" "Yes, you can hold me, Sweetheart. Savor it now because when the babies start arriving, this will be a rare occurrence." I chuckle under my breath. 

"Aww, Babe, I'll always make time to hold you, don't worry. It is one of my most favorite things to do with you." The sun is blazing well above the horizon. "Sweetheart, we need to go up to the house and get ready for the day. Steve and Bonnie are up and about. I don't want to get caught again. Better yet, I don't even want them to hear us." 

"Baby, good idea. Let's go up to the house. It's almost 11:00, our brunch will be ready soon." We head up to the house, sure enough, they were sitting on the veranda savoring a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper. We exchanged "Good Morning" before we proceeded upstairs. I stopped in the bathroom to pee, he already took a whizz down at the beach before we left the cabana. 

He comes moseying in as I'm brushing my teeth wearing his robe open. Swiping a kiss across my neck, sending shivers down my spine. He picks up his toothbrush, brushing his teeth while looking at me in the mirror. "Sweetheart, whatcha thinking?" I'm done, stepping over to him slipping my arm around his waist. He looks into my eyes and I see trouble brewing... damn, I can read him like a book. I place my hand on his cheek, leaning into my hand, looking back into my eyes. "Baby, I've been thinking. I really want you with me at my session with Steve today, please?" 

I pull him into me, wrapping my arms around him tightly. "Sweetheart, we need to ask Steve if it will be alright, okay?" He is trembling with his head on my shoulder, "Baby, I can't do it without you there. I need to feel your love, our connection to get me through it." I rub his back in a circular motion to calm him, feeling our electric current coursing through us. "Sweetheart, let's get showered and dressed. We will talk to Steve when we have brunch with them. If he grants permission for me to attend, I'll be there with you." 

He is clinging to me so tightly, I almost can't breathe. I slide my hands down his muscular arms to pull myself away from him and look at him, needing to connect with his eyes, "Sweetheart, look at me." He releases his strong hold on me, looks woefully into my eyes down into my soul. "Sweetie, do you remember what I said about being vulnerable?" He nods, "Darling, being vulnerable means submitting to the unknown. Over the years, you have created a wall to shield and protect yourself. You told me how you are controlling your anger better now, but that's what precipitates your self-destructive behavior." 

I lean on the counter and pull him into me, in my soft, sultry voice, an octave above a whisper, "Think about what happened in Paris. Your feelings and emotions were so overwhelming, you felt that I hurt you, then you allowed anger and jealousy to come between us. I tripped that trigger of a past hurtful memory and you fell head over heels into it without consciously realizing what you were doing. You re-lived the victim in that whole scenario when in fact your revenge caused me to be the victim of lashing out at me in your hurt and pain. That is why you are now doing this therapy, to learn how to prohibit that from happening again. You have to face your past in order to recognize and change that behavior to move forward. If Steve will allow my presences to support you in today's session, I will join you. However, if he feels you need to do it one-on-one with him, alone...you go do it. Please, Sweetheart, trust us and the process. I absolutely feel you will be okay. Have some faith in yourself, I do." 

He smiles, while I pull his lips to mine to kiss him and communicate my love and compassion for him. "Baby, how do you know so much about all this? You never fail to make me feel better." I snicker, "Think about it, Sweetheart. I've been through it a few times. Trust me, open your heart and your mind, submitting to it, you'll do just fine.  And, in the end, you will feel so much better, like all the pieces of the puzzle finally fit together, giving you a better view of the bigger picture."