Slow Love

One-on-One

Prince POV

I suddenly realized I want and need my wife with me today. She is so comforting and supportive of me, I sense I'm going to need to feel her love and peace to get through this tough today's session. When she talks to me, it is so calming and her soft, kind words took all my fears and tension away. I was relieved and felt so much better after talking to her. I ask Steve permission for my wife to attend but he denied it for today only. I'll be alright knowing she is close if I do need her. 

We head on to the theater room to start after I kiss my lovely wife goodbye. Steve told me yesterday that today's therapy will be different than the other sessions. He will ultimately talk to me more than he has in the past. We will start back when my parents kicked me out on the streets to fend for myself. I take my seat facing Steve. He arranged the overstuffed chairs so we can be comfortable as this session may take longer than the previous ones have. I start by talking to him about the events leading up to my abandonment. 

"My Father left my Mother and they eventually divorced. My Mother remarried quickly to a cruel and heartless man. He brutally punished me and she did nothing to stop him, instead, she stood by his side instead of mine, her son. I became rebellious, my stepfather would lock me in my room for hours and days on end only coming out to use the bathroom or eat. Sometimes they would take my dinner away as punishment. I was so isolated with only a piano in my room. I taught myself how to play the piano until I couldn't take it anymore, my father agreed to take me in but he was gone most of the time working either at the plant or playing music in the clubs at night. He caught me one evening having sex with his girlfriend, who was not a whole lot older than me and extremely younger than my Dad. She came over to see him and since he was gone, she seduced me, one thing led to another and he caught us doing the horizontal jitterbug. He kicked me to the curb." 

Steve says, "Ok, tell me how did you feel at that moment?" I relived how I felt, "I was hurt and in pain that both my parents didn't want me or love me anymore." Steve asks, "What did you do?" "I called my sister to get a hold of my Dad and talk him into taking me back. She did, I called my Dad from a payphone and begged his forgiveness. He forgave me but still wouldn't allow me to come home. I cried in that phone booth for hours," 

I sit with Steve in silence, unable to speak, fighting back the tears of emotions conjuring up from those early painful memories. Steve leans forward, touches my knee, "Prince, take your time. We have all the time in the world to get through this at whatever pace you want to proceed." 

I look to the side, taking in a deep shuttering breath and collect myself. I have to get through this no matter how hard it is to talk about. After several minutes, I turn back facing Steve to finish. "I was 12 years old and managed to take refuge with an aunt until she grew tired of having me. I couch surfed around the neighborhood until I met Andre in school. His mother, Bernadette Anderson kindly took me in where I stayed until I graduated high school." 

[Steve] "Did having absentee parents make you angry? Describe the feelings you formed from the abandonment of your parents." 

[Prince]"Yes, Steve, I was hurt and angry that they did not love me and I acted out as an incorrigible kid to get attention." Steve puts his hand up to stop me from talking further.

[Steve}"Okay, Prince, let me describe what happened to you when you were 12 years old. Your father and mother emotionally and physically abandoned you. Both parents were harsh, critical and demanding of you. Essentially they pushed you away with their lack of love and they gave you the implied message 'you don't matter and we don't love you.' So, to cope with that pain, you protected yourself by pushing people away from you. You found your revenge by becoming emotionally closed off; you hid your true feelings, and you acted out in disobedience to hurt people around you. But now, as you are older, the anger continues. Whenever others offend you, you become angry and you push them away, just as you were pushed away by your parents. Everyone who offends you, you push away. But you don't push them away by cutting ties with them, you push them away by making them reject you because you are so desperate to be accepted. Allow me to give you an example: