Fine Line Between Love and Hate | Dan x Reader High School

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HELLO! I WANTED TO PUT OUT A CHAPTER SO IT MIGHT BE RUSHED BUT I FELT LIKE YOU GUYS WOULD LIKE IT!

LOVE YA!

(y/n)'s POV

How is it that I have at least on person hating me, if not more. Phil was a few days ago, Dan now and forever, Caspar now, James forever (but that's mutual). I wonder who else I've pissed off. I seem to do that a lot. I walked into school, feeling millions of pairs of nonexistent eyes on me. No one probably cares, it's just my guilt. Caspar gave me a thin smile as he passed.  At least he wasn't too mad. Just upset and I can understand why. I opened my locker. It was only Wednesday and my week had been ruined along with several other's weeks.

"Okay what in God's name did you say to him?" I peeked around my locker door to see Phil.

"I-I'm an ass." I sighed, shoving a book into the upper shelf. "I was angry with myself for trusting Caspar and I took it out on Dan by saying that he plays with my emotional jump rope or something. I don't know you had to be there."

"Well, he really thinks you hate him." Phil said. I slammed my locker.

"Why would he think otherwise?"

"What do you mean? It's just banter isn't it?"

"Are you fucking joking Phil? Do you really think I would stoop to hurt myself, go home and cry everyday, and wish I was DEAD over some meaningless banter?! He hurt me. I'll never let that go. I always get my hopes up, thinking that we could be friends, but really I know that could never happen because he shatter that trust a long time ago." I said, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

"I hadn't thought of it that way." Phil said.

"I'm not joking Phil. I never have." I said. Unexpectedly, he pulled me into a hug.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm sorry I never realized how painful it actually was. I've been trying to make you friends, but I can see that isn't the best idea." he said.

"It's okay Phil, i'm not mad at you. It's fine." I said, reassuring him. I headed to math.

I had most definitely NOT changed my mind. I don't know why I thought I had the chance to.

Dan was Dan. My bully.

I sat in my seat and Dan didn't look up, his face buried in his hands. Had I actually hurt him? As much as it pains me to see people hurt, especially because of me, maybe now he knows what it felt like when I used to harm myself. What it felt like when I used to cry myself to sleep. I dug around in my bag for my folder and I could feel him glance my way. I looked forward, not paying attention to his obvious gaze. I don't know what he was expecting, because an apology wasn't on my list of things to do.

I was right wasn't I?

He had played jump rope and now it's broken. Just broken.

We stayed silent for the majority of classes until lunch rolled around.

"Dan, go sit with everyone else. I'm going to the library. Don't worry about me being there." I said, turning away and heading to my locker. I heard a soft noise come from his mouth, but he just walked away toward the cafeteria. I sat in a chair in the library. It was empty except for the librarian, who I quite liked. She always let me sit here. I heard the door open, which was rather unusual, but I just ignored it.

"(y/n)?" I looked up to see Dan there.

"What?" I asked, my stomach twisting.

"I-I" he fell silent.