IMAGINES ▹ ROSS BUTLER

↳ brutal sameness

( BRUTAL SAMENESS )
by fataleruby.co.vu

You had been looking for a reason to break up with him for awhile now. The big question was why, and you wished you knew the answer. But it came as no surprise when the urgent need to break his heart struck you randomly five months after you had began dating.
It always happened like this. With all the past people you had dated, you always felt the urge to break up with them almost exactly five months after you had your first kiss. 

You were scared. Scared of what, exactly? That was another good question that you wished you had the answer to. 

You were on your way to Reggie's house right now, and you couldn't wait to just get it over with. You needed space, that was all. That was what you were going to tell him. And it wasn't a lie. 

When you pulled into his driveway, you stayed in the car. The car continued running and the music you had been quietly playing on your way here was still going. It wouldn't stop. 

Your grip tightened on the steering wheel before you forced yourself to look back up at his house. He was already walking towards you with a happy but confused look on his face.
With the sight of him, you finally turned your car off and got out, meeting him halfway. When you automatically reached up to hug him he caught you of guard, picking you up and swinging you around once.

You could've broke down right there. 

But you didn't. Instead, you forced a smile before speaking. "I need to tell you something."
His smile immediately fell. "Yeah, okay...is everything alright?" 

You began nodding but halfway through decided against it and shook your head. "Reggie, I need some space." You blurted it out. It sounded so harsh that it almost shocked you. 

You could almost pinpoint the exact moment that his heart shattered. You could almost hear the sound of it stopping. "What, why? I thought things were going great." 

You smiled again, trying to touch his shoulder but he slowly pulled away from you. "It is. It was. I just...Reggie-" Your smile only widened, to show just how much more fake it was. "I need some time. To figure things out." 

He slowly began nodding. "No, I understand." His voice was barely a whisper. 

"I'm sorry." You were. 

"Me too." Of what?  

Before you could say anything else, he turned around and walked back into his house. Leaving you in the middle of his driveway, not knowing exactly what to do with yourself.
This feeling was new. Usually you felt better afterwards. But instead you just felt empty, like a piece of you was already missing.

-

"Veronica, why do I do things like this? Why do I feel like I have to break up with people?" You were driving yourself insane when you got home and decided to give your best friend, V, a call. 

"Y/N, what you're doing is totally normal and you're not the only girl who does this. I wouldn't stress it." 

"I think I love him." You mumbled, covering your mouth to try and stop yourself from crying.
"Then why did you break up with him?" Suddenly Veronica was finally catching on to how confusing this whole situation was. 

"I wish I knew. It's like...there's this alarm that goes off in my mind after I've been with people for awhile and it tells me 'Quick! Before it's too late!'" 

"Too late for what?" 

"Before it's too late and I fall in love with them. I dunno...maybe it was the way I grew up. Watching relationships come together and fall apart in my life wasn't the most pleasing thing to watch."