IMAGINES ▹ ROSS BUTLER

↳ lavander pt. 1

( LAVANDER pt. 1 )
by marwritesgood

"This next one is someone I know none of you will be expecting, most probably because she has the greatest reputation attainable. Cheerleader. Honor roll. Hospital volunteer. Large circle of friends. Wealthy background. Loving parents. A basketball player for a boyfriend. Voted Most Likely to be President.

You guessed it, it's the one and only Y/n.

Y/n... I know that you are wondering what you did to earn yourself a tape. I know that when you hear the news about me, you will be upset and you will mourn, and all of it will be sincere. I know that you are sincere, Y/n, but I also know that there is a side to you only very few have seen.

I'm gonna need you to take another look at you map and go to the spot marked with a flower. The flower is a lavender. Does that bring back any memories for you, Y/n? Because it sure does for me.

You see, we met a little bit after the Justin incident. You were actually the only person to comfort me. You heard me crying in a stall in the girl's bathroom. You asked if I was okay, and even when I told you I was, you waited for me to come out, you made me laugh and then you took me to Monet's where you bought me a cup of my favorite coffee on the menu.

That was the kind of person you were.

We didn't become very close friends, because, as I said before, you had a large circle of them. There was simply no room for little old Hannah Baker.

In fact, I remember when it was your birthday party, and almost everyone at school was there, because that's how big your house was. You had  just blown out you candles and unwrapped gifts, which meant that it was time pictures.

You had a professional photographer there and you even had a white backdrop for the photos. You took one on your own. You took one with your best friend Sheri, and you took one with your boyfriend, Zach. Then came the time for you to take one with your friends. Your large circle of friends.

I don't know why, but at the time, I thought we were close enough to be considered friends. And so, when the time came for the 'Y/n and Friends' photo to be taken I naturally thought I had earned a spot in it. I stood at the edge and I smiled brightly, waiting for the bright flashes of the camera to just about blind me.

But nothing happened.

Instead, the photographer looked up from his camera and said that at least one person on the outside needed to leave, because there were too many people to fit into the frame. It didn't even cross my mind that I might have to be that one person, so when you turned to me with your ever so infamous sorry-eyes, my heart dropped, and I walked away without saying a single word.

I felt so small that day. Here I was thinking that I had a good enough relationship with you to be in that photo. Here I was thinking that I was more than just a charity case; just a person you befriend for the sake of a good conscious. Here I was thinking that I was cool enough: important enough: worthy enough to be a friend of the Y/n Y/l/n, only to be told through a pair of sorry eyes that I was, in fact not.

That's not why you have a tape, though.

No, I think that by now you know exactly why. Have you made it to the destination yet? Because, if so, congratulations, you should now be standing in front of a Planned Parenthood clinic, and I think this should be a hint as to where this is all going.

You had apologized to me about what happened at your party and you took me to Monet's and we had coffee and everything felt okay again. I didn't feel small anymore, but that all changed very very soon.