IMAGINES ▹ ROSS BUTLER

↳ unspoken words

( UNSPOKEN WORDS ) 
by bandstripper

"I'm done. I'm done trying so hard only for you to never even look in my direction."

"What?" Reggie was surprised when you suddenly spoke behind him, not expecting a girl (much less you) in the boy's locker room. He saw you standing there in the dim lighting and his heart started beating twice as fast. Anyone with a working brain can see the tension in your stance and the fragility of your will.

"I tried so hard, Reg." You sniffed, clearly crying but still managing to give Reggie a smile that makes his soul shake.

"I joined the Vixens thinking cheerleaders were your type." You slowly took steps forward and Reggie just wants to grab you in his arms to obliterate any negative thoughts he knows is consuming your mind but he can't. He did this. He dug his own grave and now he must lie on it.

"I skipped class hoping just to spend more time by your side." You were so close but something in your eyes was so distant it makes Reggie's spine tingle.

"I lied, sneaked out, and went to parties I don't even like just hoping and praying that finally you would realize that ... I love you." You sniffed. "I have loved you for a while now."

Reggie knew you liked him – have liked him since freshman year. He always passed it off as a joke and always managed to swerve out of any confrontation between you two not because he was not interested but because he was – and it made him afraid. Reggie never knew what being loved felt like, to be truly and fully loved for all he is. Everybody just seemed to have a motive when it comes to him. He is unfamiliar with the territory of love and he is afraid of delving in what you could offer him in the fear that it would make him vulnerable to you.

He doesn't want to become vulnerable to anybody.

So he kept you at an arm's length: close enough to be special but far enough to keep him safe. He knew you were hurting but he didn't know the extent of it. He doesn't know that every time he whispers sweet nothings in your ear when you're alone at Pop's but ignore the sight of you when he walks in the hallway with his fellow jocks makes you want to vomit in disgust at yourself. He doesn't know that every time he goes to a party and corners another pretty girl in the dark that isn't you, it makes you question your worth over and over again. He doesn't know that every time you are greeted with his cold stare, as if you were a nuisance, you can feel the cracks in your heart reopen making you feel like drowning from the pain only it was crueler since you just couldn't die.You actually had to live with the pain.

He doesn't know it because he never really cared. He had you and he thought it would stay that way forever.

Now, he was looking at you as you slowly drifted farther and farther away from him and he realized, he should've cared. Because right now, he is watching the one scene that made his nightmares look like daydreams.

He was losing you.

"So now, I realized,"

"(Y/N), –"

"They were right." You barely whispered but it was a bomb exploding in Reggie's world. "They were all right."

"He is trouble."

"Reggie will just break you in half."

"Don't come running to me for help when he drops you like a used wrapper."

"You are nothing to him."

"He will never love you."

You were in front of him now, just an arms away but it felt like a whole universe has separated you in between. You were gone and he couldn't do shit about it.

"It would've been better if we never met."

Reggie's heart broke as he remembered.

He remembered your flustered face when the door blasted open from your weight when you were clearly spying on him on the boy's locker room. How the excuses started sprouting out from your mouth about coach, and the science teacher, and detention but in that moment all Reggie could think about was how the pretty little stranger probably had a prettier name.

"I'm Reggie," he said, walking up to you and offering his hand as if you wouldn't be too distracted by his bare torso."You are?"You stared at his hand, plump bottom lip being bitten red. Reggie could still remember the relief he felt when you graced him with a smile and a name. "(Y/N).I'm (Y/N)."

"You don't mean that." He was pleading and hurt but if he was too afraid to notice your pain before then you hoped he would understand that you were too hurt to care about his.

"I do." You shook your head, tiny tears dripping to your face as a contradiction of your statement. "I may love you, Reggie but I ... I can't fall in love with you. I don't want all the pain that comes with it."

You scoffed, accidentally blinking causing the unshed tears to drop. "I have nothing to fight for when I have given you my world and you could barely give me a glance."

"You are important to me, darling, you know that. I just –"

You gently placed your both your hands on each side of Reggie's shoulders, making him confused and effectively cutting him off, until you went to the tip of your toes and gave him the smallest Eskimo kiss. It took him less than a second to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. He was never good with words but he was praying to God that his kiss will be enough to change your mind, to stop you from leaving.

You both know it wasn't.

You were gasping for air when you finally stopped kissing but Reggie was still persistent in giving you pecks where he can reach. You sniffed and hardened your heart. You placed your hand down his chest and slowly pushed him off, earning a grunt from Reggie as he tried to pull you closer.

"(Y/N), don't ..."

"This is goodbye, Reg."

"Stop saying that! This is not over, we can talk about this!"

Reggie's hands gripped your elbows but it wasn't enough. Everything Reggie did and never did was always never enough.

And as he watched you smile sadly, your hair bouncing as you ran away from him was when he realized he just lost the one person worth anything to him in the entire world.

He lost the love of his life by being afraid of love.

He lost you.

He punched the nearest locker on his right, resulting to a huge dent and a broken hand but it wasn't enough. It wasn't able to mask the pain he felt on his chest.

It wasn't supposed to end this way.

Tonight was supposed to end with too many drinks, you on his bed, panting under him in exhaustion, and him staring at you while the night lost its youth as you slept, wearing his shirt that you would never return.

Not like this –

With two broken hearts that can only be healed by too many words that will remain unspoken.