IMAGINES ▹ ROSS BUTLER

↳ not in that way

( NOT IN THAT WAY )
by wordlimitexceeded

It'd been two months since I'd decided to move in with Reggie; we were dating on and off for almost two years when he'd asked me to move in with him. My life with my Mother wasn't the best, our relationship was rocky and that was on the good days. Reggie had made the decision to let me live with him so I could be in a healthy, safe environment.

His family loved to have me around and our days moulded together smoothly like coffee and milk, we slept together, showered together and walked to school together. I was hopelessly in love with Reggie Mantle and everything he had given me, but for whatever reason that I couldn't place my finger on, I felt trapped by him.

Some nights, I would wake up next to Reggie and watch the rise and fall of his chest as he slept soundly. I would study his face and wonder why I felt like I was drowning. Why I felt like the bedroom walls around us where closing in and why I couldn't breathe when he'd cuddle me close at night, or when we'd do mundane, day to day things.
When Reggie and I would have sex, he would whisper sweet nothings in my ear about how much he loved me, how he never wanted me to leave and how we would be together forever and the thought of being with Reggie for the rest of my life frightened me. Veronica believed I had commitment issues, I didn't think that was true because I was living with Reggie and people who have commitment issues don't do that, right?

"Penny for you thoughts?" Reggie's voice brings me back to reality and I look over at him from across the table, milk is dribbling down his chin from his breakfast. He's always been a messy eater.

"Hmm?" I ask, "Oh. I was just thinking about the calculus test we have today." I lie smoothly.

He scoops another mouthful of cereal into his mouth and sloppily wipes his chin with the back of his hand. "Don't even worry about it babe, you'll do fine. You're like the smartest person I know."

I watch him eat, scooping slow mouthfuls of my own cereal into my mouth; I don't feel overly hungry this morning so I scoop the remnants of my food into the dog's bowl.

It was normal for Reggie and I to break up from time to time, even though I strongly expressed at the beginning of our relationship that I never wanted to be like those couples that break up and get back together only to break up and then get back together again.

"That's what my Mom and Dad did. I don't want us to be like that." I had said. But it seemed like I had just ignored my own plea because that's what Reggie and I did. We were stuck in this vicious circle and neither of us knew how to make it stop.

I watch Reggie from the kitchen as he finishes the last bit of his cereal before bringing his bowl to the sink. He plants a quick kiss on my cheek andI smile at him.
"I'm gonna get ready for school, I'll meet you outside?" I always got ready for school before Reggie did, right before breakfast. It helped me to make sure I didn't spend twelve hours on choosing an outfit for the day.
I grab my book bag from the floor near the chairs and pick up my converse by the door, slipping the over my socks. I wait outside by the gate for Reggie so we can walk to school together.

I can't help but wonder if he gets sick of doing everything together too.

*****

"How do you think you did on the calculus test?" Betty asks, as we both push through the crowd of students emptying out of the classrooms to move on to their next class.

"Pretty bad." I adjust my books and avoided being knocked over by one of the football boys. "My minds been elsewhere." I explain.

"Like where?" We reach Betty's locker and I was next to her as she opens it to switch out her books for her next class. I lean against the locker next to hers and rest my books against my stomach.