IMAGINES ▹ ROSS BUTLER

↳ say you wont let go

( SAY YOU WONT LET GO ) 
by bandstripper

I met you in the dark, you lit me up
You made me feel as though I was enough

It was a normal Friday night, in a normal party and of course Zach was tipsy. Zach looked around the dining room and everything seemed to go in a slow motion. The dancing bodies, the laughter, the distant chatters wherein everyone was talking too much and not listening enough: it was all too much for Zach. He pushed himself off the wall, quickly flashing an apologetic smile to the girls hanging around him, and started his march upstairs, barely giving another distant Jessica a glance as he pushed his way into a random room; away from the circus they called a party downstairs.

He dragged a chair towards the window overlooking the suburban neighbourhood it was in. Zach stared at the solo red cup in his hands and his face crumpled in disappointment as he threw the useless drink outside with too much force necessary and watched as it spilled and tumbled on the street. Zach didn't want to be tipsy, he wanted to be drunk. He wanted to be drunk enough to forget his problems, to forget his sins, to forget that he caused a girl her life because he was an insecure and emotional asshole who is used to getting everything he wants. He scoffed, placing his face in his arms; it was all too fucking useless for Zach. Him being sorry would not take everything back, it would not heal everything he fucking destroyed and it will never bring Hannah back. Hannah is dead and it will forever be in his shoulders.

He was so confused, what should he do? What can he do? Is there any redemption in ... murder? Zach shivered in this realization. It was murder, he murdered Hannah Baker: that was the silent, bitter truth.

Suddenly the door slammed wide open and a familiar stranger stumbled into the room. "Holy shit – I'm sorry – shit you're Zach, I am so sorry! I didn't—I wasn't – "He watched as you tried to blabber your way out of the awkward situation the both of you were currently in. He watched as a piece of your hair fell on your face as you stubbornly tried to place it behind your ear in your drunken haze, the way your hands gestured too much as if to prove your point, the way your lips twitched every once in a while, and the pleading in your beautiful eyes as you explained yourself over and over again to Zach.

"Hey, hey," Zach cut her off and tried to smile."It's fine."

Your face fell, what's up with him? You knew him, of course you knew him, who wouldn't know the great Zach Dempsey, he was high school royalty. With his previous group into pieces, Alex's suicide attempt, Justin's sudden disappearance and Bryce's transfer, he was the king of their school but in that moment you realized that sometimes being at the top can be lonely even for a king.

"Are you ... are you okay?" You straightened up when you saw him look at you but he just chuckled, still staring at his hands as if it wasn't his own.

"It's that obvious, huh?" he asked, glancing at you.

"Well," If you weren't so drunk you would've known that this was the first time you have actually talked to him throughout your whole high school life even if you have at least five classes together every day. "This party is for your win this season and ... um, for someone who was supposed to be the guest of honour you don't seem very thrilled."

Zach suddenly sat straighter, his walls automatically wrapping around his cold, dead heart, afraid of what you might know if you get too close, figuratively and literally. "Well, aren't you observant." He mumbled to himself but he immediately realized the small poison in his words when he saw your friendly aura fall. "Sorry, I'm ... I'm not usually an ass."