Rock Bottom (#Wattys 2018)

Chapter 20

Nagising ako sa alarm ng cellphone ko at agad na sumakit yung ulo. Dahan-dahan akong tumayo at dumiretso sa banyo. Tinitigan ko ang sarili ko. Damn, I cried too much last night. What happened? Oh shoot, I was drunk and...

Tears rolled down through my cheeks. I didn't mind to wipe it. What the fuck did I do? Bakit? Bakit naaalala ko ang malalamig na tingin ni Hanz? We... no, I've already cut our connection. No! This is not happening!

"Ma'am, kain na raw kayo ng breakfast." Katok nung kasambahay mula sa labas. Saka ko lang pinunasan yung luha ko.

"P-pakihatid nalang dito. Sabihin mong masama ang pakiramdam ko."

"Sige po." Sagot nito at narinig ko na ang paglabas niya sa kwarto ko. Napaupo nalang ako sa malamig na sahig habang sabunot ang buhok.

Napakalamig ng pakiramdam ko. Gusto kong umiyak muli kaso hindi ko na kaya. Wala na. Pagod na akong umiyak. Nanatili ako ng ilang minuto sa loob ng banyo nang marinig ko ang pagbukas ng pinto ko.

"Ma'am, nandito lang po sa side table." Hindi ako sumagot. Nakita kong gumagalaw ang door knob kaya ni-lock ko yo'n.

"Umalis kana." Malamig kong tugon.

Lumabas ako ng banyo nung umalis na siya. Tinitigan ko yung pagkain. It's vegetable salad, sandwich, juice and yogurt. Natakam ako sa yogurt kaso naalala ko si Hanz. He was calling me yogurt. No, hindi ko kakainin yan. Kinuha ko yung yogurt at tinapon sa basura. What a bullshit.

Napatitig pa ako sa body-size mirror habang kumakain. What if panaginip lang yo'n? Maybe I should talk to him. Right! I'm still working to him, may rason ako kung bakit ako makikipagkita sa kanya. But, really, I need to talk to him.

Kinuha ko yung cellphone. Should I ask him right now? Or in personal? Whatever! I'll just talk to him.

"Hey." I'm trying to act normal. But, my voice seems hoarse.

"Yes, what can I do for you?" Nanlamig ako nang marining ang boses babae. No, maybe it's his cousin. Remember, Sarr? The gay one.

"Hey, is this Rania?" Medyo naging static yung linya at naririnig kong parang nasa sasakyan ito.

"Oh, sorry. This is Mister Silvestrine Hanz Selrom's number you're calling, right? I'm Sophia Tolentino, his secretary." Nagtiim bagang ako. Sino ba siya sa tingin niya?! "He's currently driving right now. I'll let him know what your intentions are." I rolled my eyes.

"Whoever the fuck you are. Don't bother to tell him who I am. Delete this number. Don't try to tell him what I said." Madiin kong sabi at pinatay yung tawag. Sa sobrang inis ko ay binato ko yung cellphone ko sa pader.

Fuck! The fuck is he with other woman?! I don't care if it's his secretary! I just wanna talk about what happened last night! But, that bitch pissed me off!

Okay, I'll talk to him face-to-face. I need to take an hour to eat my pride.

"Where are you going?" Napairap ako nang sumulpot si Mom. Nakita kong may maleta siyang hila-hila. Aalis na ba sila?

"Work. Kanino yan?" I changed the topic.

"Oh, it's your lola's. Mauuna siyang pupunta ng Tarlac kasama ang mga tita't tito mo." Kumunot ang noo ko.

"How 'bout you?" She smirked. I hate that smirk.

"I'll stay here with you." Great! Just great! I threw my hands up in the air and smiled sarcastically.

"Hope you enjoy in this fucking hell." Saka ko isinukbit yung bag sa balikat ko. Hindi ko hinintay ang kanyang sasabihin at nagdire-diretso na ako sa parking lot.