Our Yeah | #WattPride (Completed)

Grocery

It's been a long time since I've come to an actual grocery store, perhaps too long since I can't remember when was the last time I was in one. It's not surreal or anything, it just felt like another store but filled with consumable produce.

Now that I think about it, they may not sell books here. I'll just make a mental note to myself to go to the library soon.

Suddenly, I'm not too keen on going with mom to the grocery store. The sad part is that we're already here so I can't do anything about it now.

"Got any cravings for dinner?" She suddenly asks after filling up our grocery cart with food that will be consumed in two weeks time. She rarely does the groceries, it's usually our trusty maid Rebecca that does the groceries. 

Mom sometimes can be so calm and relaxed about everything and then there's this mom who prepares the family for something big like a war or hibernating for winter.

"Anything's fine mom, really" I hold on to the grocery cart firmly as my heart slightly aches for that moment.

I cannot remember when this started happening - the heart aches. It's genuinely a feeling in my heart not caused by a heartbreak or anything sad. At least, I think it's not. It just, hurts for some unknown reason. It's not a big deal, at least, I think it's not. It's just an irritating feeling on my chest sometimes.

I pushed the grocery cart the rest of the way to the cashier, then something caught my eye outside. A little kid playing with a paper airplane on the parking lot. The kid looked so happy, so carefree, so, untainted by the horrors of the world.

I miss those times. When all you had to worry about is when you'll get to play with your friends next or when will your mom give you another cookie or something.

Life was - is - simple when you're a kid. I wouldn't complain if I ever get a second chance at being a kid again.

"That'd be 128 dollars and 71 cents" I heard the cashier lady said. Voices of other people and the sound of registers opening plus the uncanny noise of items being scanned resonated on every corner of the store like clockwork. The scanner irks me a little bit and I can't pinpoint as to why that is.

Soon enough, we were putting groceries into the car and driving all the way home.

"What are you thinking about honey?" She gazes towards me for just a second then focuses back on the road. I was too focused on the field of grass out the window that I forgot I was supposed to 'converse' with my mom.

I was just contemplating life, there has to be more to it than reading books. All the romance novels that I've read makes me wonder, would I ever get that feeling too?

"Not much. Just thinking about the book I'm currently reading" I lied. Then again, I lie about a lot of things, but nothing major.

"Oh really?" She puckers her lips as she contemplated a thought that would send my brain into lying overdrive mode. "What's it about?"

I could lie about it, but, it's not worthy of a lie to be honest. "I haven't finished it yet" I humbly said, praying she wouldn't pry on the topic any longer.

"Well what's it about so far?" That's weird. I thought for sure she would leave me alone on that response. Why is she being "too motherly" all of a sudden?

I sighed for dramatic effect before I told her my answer.

"It's about this boy that has an unrequited love for someone he really liked. He's mustering up the courage to speak to the person but, there's something holding him back. He was thinking if, is it better to speak or to just let it be?"

Silence.

Mom didn't bother me the rest of the drive home. Which I kind of regret. Kinda.