Our Yeah | #WattPride (Completed)

This Kind of Weakness

Three days left of summer vacation, three more days to torture myself, three more days to live without him, without his presence.

Oh, what I'd do to give Peter a hug right now, he always gave me the warmest hugs that I've ever had.

As we drove away from our vacation house, I looked at the antiqueness of it all. Even though all I can see is the garden and our front porch, I tried to reminisce all that I can of that place.

The place where my life happened all at once and also the place where I'll leave it, I'm such a drama queen, I know.

"So? How's this year's vacation go?" Dad asked as I sat on the passenger seat and he started to maneuver out of the gates of our vacation house, leaving Tony and Rebecca again for a few months until we go back for winter.

"Is mom asleep?" I asked, trying to change the topic. Dad looks over to mom at the back through the rear view mirror then returns his gaze to me.

"You can talk. She's fast asleep." I was afraid he'd say that.

I looked at my side of the window thinking of what I should say.

"Different" I spoke.

"Huh?" Dad asked, confused, seeing as though we had driven almost a mile and only now I decided to respond to his question that he asked a while ago.

"This summer. It was, different." I said as I started to sink in my seat.

"Because of Peter." He said in conclusion, like he had figured something out. I closed my eyes, waiting for the beat down I was expecting.

I've been bad.

I know.

I deserve to be punished.

But isn't this punishment enough? Being separated from him?

I waited, but nothing came. I opened one eye and peered over at dad who's concentrating at the road all calm and collected. Does he or doesn't he know?

"You have a beautiful friendship, the both of you." He started.

"Yeah." Was all I could muster up, I didn't know what to say. I was caught off guard.

"I know you're too smart to know how fortunate you two were to have found each other." Dad's right.

"Peter is-" I crossed my arms as I start to regain my composure.

"Indeed he is" Dad cut me off. "The friendship that you two have may even be more than just a friendship and I wanted you to know that, that's okay."

"Mmmm." I bowed my head, feeling a little bit ashamed.

I'm now speechless.

"But this has nothing to do with who's right or wrong. What you two had, happened not because you two were doing something un-human like. You were good, you both were." He smiled at me then turned his focus back on the road.

"I think he was better than me." I looked at the dashboard instead. I couldn't look dad in the eyes right now.

Dad chuckles. "I'm pretty sure he'd say the same thing about you." He caressed my left shoulder, trying to reassure me that everything would be fine and for a moment, I thought everything is fine.

Now I started to chuckle and murmured "Yeah, he'd say the same thing."

"He really would." He said, and then silence came about in the car. "You know, sometimes it feels good to give in to your weaknesses, especially this kind of weakness. Just remember that, I'm here and I love you very much kiddo." He leaned in and placed a kiss on the side of my head.

A thing my dad does way back when I was a kid, until now apparently. I smiled at him, just a little, then turned my attention back at my side of the window.

"Right now I know it hurts, and you probably may not want to feel anything, and maybe I'm not the person you want to talk about these kinds of things but, I wanted you to know that you did nothing wrong." I did nothing wrong?

I did nothing wrong...

Nothing wrong.