Our Yeah | #WattPride (Completed)

Le Baiser

His ghoulish smile catches me off guard. I tense up, I convert my attention to the scene above instead, thinking of how blue the sky is today. I couldn't tame my heart to stop pounding so much. It's infuriating to know how easy it may seem but it's really a million times harder when you're there. How do I do this?

He puts an elbow to the ground as he positioned himself sideways towards me. I see his smile once more at the corner of my eye, hypnotizing me, luring me, or even just a jest, saying "face me, please".

I fix myself up and levelled my head against his. I feel my walls shattering brick by brick. I can see him eye to eye now. "Is this it?" I thought.

He was leaning in when I opened my mouth, as if I was gaping at him like from that time I saw him at the steps of the book store.

I waited... I waited for his invitation. I closed my eyes as he leaned closer. The wind gently gracing us with its merciless fury helped nothing with the nervousness that I'm being intoxicated with right now. I feel his breath on the top of my lip, "closer" I thought of whispering it but decided not to. Soon, his lips were touching my upper lip. It was exhilarating, it felt like heaven.

My heart pounded faster, nervousness drenching me like sweat on a hot summer day after a workout, as his lips stayed in contact with my upper lip. He leaned in a little more, pushing my head back a bit – a sign telling me to move my lips. I obeyed incessantly to his request and locked my lips with his. Not a moment later, we were exchanging kisses, no tongue involved – yet.

Our kisses were in rhythm, like the slow beating of bongos on the beach. Synchronized as if we have the same mind, same thoughts, same... indifferences.

I can feel him pulling away, so I obliged. Too soon, I thought. "Mmmm" he spoke, gargled. He sounded like he forced himself to stop doing something that he liked.

I was out of breath and I can still taste him on my lips. Peter opened something I never thought to explore, it was something new to me but at the same time it felt all familiar, all too real. I never wanted anything so badly before. It's clear to me now what I want – him, only him.

"Better now?" He asks. He was clearly teasing me. I can see him smirk on the corner of my eye as I face the grass and him the sky, both of us leaning on our elbows for support.

"No" I said in the back of my mind. "Yeah" I replied. I lied to him, when it was the opposite in fact. I'm in desperate need of air but I wanted more of him – his kisses.

"Yeah?" Yes, he was definitely teasing me; I can hear it in his voice. Just ask me one more time Peter, just one more time and I'll gladly succumb to your demands and let myself loose so that I may be able to kiss you again until you have to pull away because I won't stop unless you want me to. I don't want to overstep the boundaries, nor give him less of what I can offer.

This was the first real thing I've felt since I was in second grade with what's her name. I would've remembered her name yesterday, but now? My head is going through all sorts of emotion management at the moment, so I couldn't be bothered to access any kind of past memories. What was her name again? I don't really remember.

"Le Baiser, The Kiss", is what I'd call this if I had at least a quarter of French blood in me. Then I'd feel validated, or so much so as to feel exceptionally accepted to have used those words in meaningful context. The kiss – our kiss – an arbitrary act amounting to one's self-wants. Though it may be deprecating to other people, we didn't care at all. I didn't care at all.

The taste of his lips will forever be embroidered on mine, just like a tattoo and I couldn't be happier.