on this day.

wise words from my worst enemies.

xii. WISE WORDS FROM MY WORST ENEMIES.

to feel something instead of nothing at all. it's such a power that makes you want to appreciate everything, look at the flowers and how they dance to midnight wind and the hum of chimes on the porch of the farmhouse behind the woods. taste buds explode in between the rotting of your teeth as you lick off the chocolate covered fruit. listen to the way your nails dig into the chalkboard, what the inside of your head sounds like. it's the wanting, the need, of being whole, complete, but watch a moth burn at the touch of light and bleed out in the bathtub. want, need nothing than to feel empty again. gauge your eyes out, yank on your tongue from the depths of your throat, saw your ears in half, dig out your eardrums and feel the pull on your temples. rip out nail beds, notice how the broken soul of yours bellows out for their home is being destroyed. cut, shave, until the identity you once knew of is missing, thrown into the deepest, darkest corner of a depressed void. still feel anchored down, wonder what you have missed out on. after slitting your wrists open and mocking the way tree branches tap at your window, curl your fingers around the blade and slice down the middle of your rib cage. admire the rebirth of moths that flutter from your chest, flying straight for the light. die out the way they do when they are lit up in momentarily bright flames. your soul, as tiny as they can be, fall to their knees as you reach for your rough, beating organ. the lines in your fingertips cringe at the sudden sensation of moldy rubber, their weeps somehow still echoing to your feet. play tug of war with your soul until you win. stare at the bullet hole heart, the restless soul that weeps above. heavy eyes, locked jaw, don't give them any time to plead for more than this as the water filling the tub turns black. take both hands, feel one last beat, then pull it apart. loneliness, anxiety, depression; they all join death at the sidelines, cheering for they have caught another victim.

perish completely empty, 

they offered,

maybe then you'll be happy.