on this day.

the crack in your voice that night never leaves me alone.

xlv. THE CRACK IN YOUR VOICE THAT NIGHT NEVER LEAVES ME ALONE.

a violent jolt

almost as if someone had plunged a sharpened
knife into the bottom of my spine 
where the dimples you held on to
the night you confessed your love to me lay
it all happened so quickly
that i was the one left speechless
and it wasn't a matter of the situation being all
about you and not me
where pointed fingers aim strictly towards the
space between your eyes.

it was your way of pleading,
of finally showing me 
how much you needed me.

it only had been a week
of no voicemails
messages
only several days without my warmth
running down your back
and you ended up on your knees
tears coating your bottom lashes in a
way i've never seen
and just like out of a movie

(no, not even that 
because no actor could recreate
what you showed me that night)

you're voice
it whispered 
but still somehow cracked.

the rise in pitch of your voice
my god
did it make my tongue press against
the roof of my mouth
trying to hold myself together 
to keep the strong facade i had
on for so long 
but it all felt apart
right into your hands
when you begged
and cried
just please,
come back.