Johnson's Football Lessons

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^ Bruno and his flaming soccer ball. Someone call the fire department; we need an extinguisher!

Freya looks at the group from the bleachers, wondering just what had she done.

Hilda: What have you done, Freya?

Lolita: I'm too small for football!

Alice: Give me blood!

Karrie: I prefer soccer and frisbee-throwing competitions.

Hayabusa: Why was I included?

Moskov: We're all going to die.

Johnson blows his whistle, silencing everyone in the field. 

Johnson: Alright, team! You guys are going to learn how to play football! Come on, Freya! Everyone needs to participate.

Freya: But I was the one who managed the club in the first place!

Johnson: Which means you should also play!

Freya: Fine.

Freya reluctantly leaves the bleachers and joins the group.

Johnson: So, here's how you play. Keep the ball. Bulldoze through anyone who tries to take it. Get a touchdown by reaching the goalpost by the other side.

Alice: What do you get for a touchdown?

Johnson: A point for the team.

Alice: This is a waste of time. Can I drink the blood of my enemies?

Johnson: I think that would be considered foul play.

Lolita: They also might die if you do that.

Hilda: Well? Are we going to start? I'm ready for some action!

Johnson: Wait, let me split the teams up.

Hayabusa: There's an odd number of players.

Freya: No, Grock is also playing.

They all turn to look at Grock. For some reason, they hadn't noticed him until now. Johnson lists the members on each team.

Johnson: Team 1 is Lolita, Hilda, Hayabusa, Alice, and Moskov. Team 2 is everyone else except me.

Karrie: Why aren't you playing?

Johnson: Well, I guess I can join Grock's team.

Grock: Grock is powerful.

Lolita: But Grock is worth ten men! It's already 5v13!

Hayabusa: That's a weird number. GG, guys.

Moskov: I told you guys that we were going to die.

Hilda: Team 1! Are you ready to fight?

Alice: No.

Lolita: I'll try taking on Grock.

Moskov: 1v10?

Johnson: Ready... Get set... Go!

Johnson snatches up the football and bulldozes Moskov over. Lolita forgets about Grock and puts her shield up, trying to prevent Johnson from reaching the end. The ball lands on the ground a few feet away. Hilda grabs it and sprints to the other side. However, Freya slams into her, causing the ball to fly across the field once more. It lands near Moskov, who is trying to get up and recover from his collision with Johnson. Suddenly, Grock crashes into him and takes the ball.

Grock: Sorry.

Moskov: I think I broke a few ribs...

Lolita, Hilda, and Alice turn to look at Grock, who is quickly dashing towards the goal. Only Hayabusa stood in the titan's way.

Hilda: Hayabusa! Defend!

Hayabusa stares at Hilda like she had grown three heads. Grock almost collides with Hayabusa, who teleports at the last second with his shadow skills.

Alice: GG!

Hilda: You jelly!

Hayabusa appears in front of Grock again and takes the football before teleporting to the right. 

Hayabusa: Look, I got-

Karrie snatches the ball from Hayabusa's hands and kicks it into the sky. Everyone watches as it flies between the goalposts. Silence hangs in the air.

Karrie: Oh, I forgot. No kicking.

Johnson: No, that's not it. It's just...

Alice: Just what?

Johnson: No one has ever scored with a kick besides Ray Wersching since 1976.

Lolita: Who?

Freya: Google it. He'll come up.

Hayabusa: So, Karrie gets an award now?

Johnson: Wait, I forgot to mention. She kicked the football into our team's goal.

Freya: Team 1 gets the points.

Everyone on Team 2 stares at Karrie with disapproving looks.

Karrie: ...How was I supposed to know?

Hilda: See? This is why you never surrender!

Moskov: I still wanted to...

Lolita: You okay?

Moskov: Can you get Rafaela? Tell her that I need a free heal.

Hayabusa: Actually, her heals cost ten thousand each. The price changed.

Moskov: Someone end me.

Alice: I would, but you don't look like you have any blood.

Johnson: I'll do the honors.

Johnson turns into a car and runs over poor Moskov.

Stalker/Announcer: An enemy has been slain!

Lolita: Are we going to continue playing?

Freya: I quit. Also, someone needs to clean up the roadkill.

Alice: Not me. A queen doesn't do clean up jobs.

Hayabusa: Johnson can do it. Wait, where'd he go?

Karrie: He probably went for a drive.

Grock: Grock will clean.

Hilda: Since our coach is gone, guess we don't have to play anymore!

Karrie: Good grief. 

Bruno: INCOMING! ALSO, HI KARRIE!

Karrie: Hi.

Bruno kicks a ball, which bounces back and forth between Lolita, Hilda, and Alice. Hayabusa had already left without a trace, so he was safe from the slaughtering.

Bruno: No regrets!

Bruno the serial killer leaves.

Stalker/Announcer: An enemy has been slain!

Stalker/Announcer: Double kill!

Hilda ends up being the one surviving due to her tankiness. She enters a nearby bush.

Hilda: Heal me, bush!

Freya: I'm not sure I approve of Bruno going around and killing people.

Karrie: I think it's a nice change.

Freya: Of course you would say that. You kill for fun.

Karrie: Want to fight?

Freya: If you wish to.

Karrie and Freya fight to see who's better.


Both of them are OP and I have no idea who would win, so it's up to you to guess who won. Anyways, I'm working on my ship chapter, but it's probably going to be uploaded tomorrow. I just started working on it today. I'm almost finished with most of the stories.

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