Desire | Shawn Mendes

TWENTY SEVEN

- Shawn's View -

Song of the Chapter: Consequences - Camila Cabello

"Loving you was dumb, dark and cheap / Loving you is still take shots at me..."

- s -

There's so much tension in the room that if you tried to cut it with a knife, the knife would break by snapping in half. I keep hearing the pain and the hurt in Charlie's voice when the door opened. Her voice ran through the house that it was so hard to ignore, and so were Jasmine's cries. Jack closed the door and I keep my hands at my hips.

"You really couldn't be her friend, huh?" I ask Paige.

"You put your hands on her?" Paige replies as she wipes her tears.

"You were supposed to be her friend!"

"Don't try to solely blame me for all of this! You're in the wrong, too!"

"Look, we're all in the wrong so why don't we just drop it?" Jack raises his voice. "Paige, you really were supposed to be her friend and I took that spot. Shawn, you really hurt her and you know that what you did was wrong - incredibly wrong. I shouldn't have thrown her under the bus and I should have taken her side tonight. We're all terrible people to her. So terrible that her friend flew out here for her. So everyone just drop it."

"Why'd you throw her under the bus?" I ask Jack.

"Now isn't the time to try and find someone to blame, Shawn." He replies to me.

"I'm not trying to do that. I'm curious. I know what I did was wrong, but I really never knew you both fucked her up just as much as I did. Paige, it didn't occur to you that turning your back on her when she needed you most was absolutely disgusting of you? Jack, why'd you throw her under the bus?" I ask them.

"Just drop it." He repeats.

"Why do you want me to drop it so much?" I ask.

"Shawn, just drop it."

"Not until you tell me why."

"Drop. It."

"Why?"

"Just fucking drop it!" Jack shouts.

"Not until you tell me why you want me to drop it so much!"

"Because I can't bring myself to think about how much of an asshole we were to her!" He shouts at me. Jack turns to Paige and begins to shout. "I have been biting my tongue for years. Paige, you were supposed to be her fucking friend! Her best fucking friend!! You called her selfish so many times but did you ever stop and think for maybe one second that that's what you were being? And Shawn! Swallow your fucking pride and talk to her! What kind of bullshit is the hating her out of love? Do you still love her, do you not? Make up your mind and stop playing with two girls at once!"

I feel...exposed.

Everyone in the room is dealing with their own consequences on what just happened and how we all played a part in her pain and suffering.

"How could I have been her friend though?" Paige asks, but the question is more to herself.

"You don't love her the same anymore." I say. Paige looks up at me, her mascara is beginning to run and Jack looks at me. "You and Jack have done some fucked up shit and you both managed to look past that. You looked past him helping her with the abortion because you love him. But you don't love Jasmine the same way you used to when you were in high school. At what point did you stop loving her, because you had to have stopped before the abortion happened. Otherwise if you still loved her, you would have looked past it."