Desire | Shawn Mendes

THIRTY SEVEN

- Shawn's View -

Song of the Chapter: Ours - Taylor Swift
"The stakes are high / The waters rough / But this Love is ours..."

- s -

My knee bounces as I nervously await for Jasmine's arrival. She gave me a spare key to her apartment and in the three days that she's been gone, I was missing her already. I look around the room that's a sea of new roses, each their own colors and each with their own meanings. In my mind the memory of what they all mean has now become a monologue that I keep repeating over and over inside my mind.

I hear footsteps and a soft, "Puta madre," from outside her door. My heart starts to race as I hear the keys rattle outside and then the sound of the door unlocking. I stand up as the door opens and I see Jasmine kick her luggage into the room. Her eyes light up and so does her face as she looks at me.

"Oh thank God you're here!" Jasmine says. She removes her raincoat and shakes it before placing it on the rack and closing, then locking the door behind her.

"How was your trip to him?" I ask.

Jasmine let's out a huff as she walks over to me. "Shawn, Shawn I can't do it! I cannot do this!"

"Do what?" I ask. I try my hardest to not let my heart sink as I think she's saying that she can't do us getting back together.

"Shawn, do you know what I had to endure for three days? I had to endure bonfires and baked banana bread that's really fucking good, so good in fact that I brought two loaves with me, you should try it!" Jasmine says in a raised voice. "And they have this amazingly beautiful country house with these two big beautiful dogs! Aw, the dogs Shawn! They're fucking great! And we got to canoe at the break of dawn and he took me horseback riding and we went incognito and visited his old high school because he's so fucking humble he still goes and visits his old high school and watches to football games! And his sister! She's fucking amazing and she's so sweet and she's so cool! Shawn, it was all so damn perfect."

"I don't know how to take this information based on your tone so pardon my confusion, Jazz." I say.

"Shawn, it's perfect." She says as she plops down on the couch. I don't even think she's noticed the flowers.

"So then what's wrong?" I ask.

"It's perfect, and it's what I deserve but, just not with him." She shakes her head. "I can't... I can't deal with that. I kept thinking, God I miss Karen. I missed your mother so much! I missed the obnoxious fighting of your brothers where you each would slap and punch each other and I beat them in a game of chicken, and seeing all those trophies from different sports. I missed Canada so much! I missed it and I missed when I ran into whatserface and you asked me if I was jealous! God I just wanted to be back in Canada with you and your family and the dysfunctional shenanigans, you know?"

"Alright then, let's go." I say.

"We can't." She says with a small shake of her head.

"Well why the hell not?"

"Because we have to lay low."

"What for? You can just make up some excuse to go."

"No, that's not why we have to lay low." Jasmine stands up and walks over to me. She takes my hands in hers and looks me in the eyes. "Jeremy is coming next week and next week I'm going to break up with him. I couldn't do it over there, and I can't do it over the phone. But when he and I break up, we have to lay low because if he sees us pictured somewhere like, Canada, for instance, he's going to automatically know that there was something up between us."