Desire | Shawn Mendes

NINETEEN

Song of the Chapter: Used to Be - Beach House

"Don't forget the nights when it all felt right / Are you not the same as you used to be?"

- x -

My lips are pursed in the tiniest, most thin line ever. I keep repeating his words in my brain; I've memorized them so much I can now even say them myself. I think of how his lips moved and how his tongue moved along his teeth with every syllable he said of every word he spoke to me.

"Well at least he was upfront about what he wanted." Chloe's words echo in my mind.

I lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. The sound of waves getting the shore usually puts me straight to rest, but for the first time, they've failed.

A deep sigh escapes my lips as I intertwine my fingers together and place them over my eyes. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to get this memory out of my mind but it's no use.

It's fresh. Incredibly fresh.

Shawn stares at me and I stare back. He opens his mouth to say something but instead puts two fingers over his lips as he looks to be in thought. I watch as he scuffles his feet around and looks nervous.

"Uh...how about this weather, huh?" I ask him.

"Oh, god." I groan under my breath. "Universe, please let this be better in the morning. Please."

= =

After drying out my hair from my morning shower, I go downstairs into the kitchen, my heartbeat quickening with each step I take. To my surprise, no one is in the kitchen, and breakfast is being helped outside on the porch.

The wind blows my hair back behind my shoulders as I walk along the porch to where the wicker table was. Everyone is seated...except Shawn. Maybe he's still sleeping? His door was closed, after all.

"You hungry?" My dad asks me.
"Not that much." I say, reaching over Fin for a waffle. I tear it apart and feed myself.

"Where'd you and Shawn slip off to last night?" Chloe asks me.

"Yeah, we noticed." Chandler adds on. He holds his fork out to me with a half eating sausage on the end and point it in my direction, "Wait...did you two kids kiss and make up?"

"Are you two back together?!" My mom asks me. I quickly shut that down my shaking my head and nervously laughing. Though I wanted my laugh to sound confident, it was nervous.

"No! We just decided to go visit some old friends since we're in town." I lie. "Anyways, does anyone know where Shawn is?"

"Yeah, he left with someone named Simone." My dad answers my question.

"What?! She's not supposed to come until Almost afternoon!" I say.
"Her flight must have came early. They left about two hours ago."

"Crap." I mutter. "He could have at least woke me up."

"He said he didn't want to wake you." My dad says. "Sit down, have some breakfast, Elle."

"Yeah, we can finally catch up." My mom adds on. I take a seat between Fin and an empty chair, which I presume was supposed to be for Shawn. "How's Chicago?"