Desire | Shawn Mendes

FIFTY ONE

Song of the Chapter: Crystal - Fleetwood Mac

"How the faces of love have changed / Turning the pages / And I have changed / Oh, but you...you remain ageless..."

- j -

In the past two days since telling Shawn the news, he has been extremely jubilant. The moment I handed him that positive pregnancy test was also the moment that the smile never left his face. Even in his sleep he had a smile; his smile was never ending. He would even smile while roughly beating at the padded hands of his trainer. It was quite the sight to see, really; angry Shawn on the outside, but the moment you saw his smile it was a completely different story. His veins would pop out with each punch he gave and his eyes held this rage of intensity but his lips just refused to do anything but a smile.

"Say it again." Shawn said as he held the pregnancy test in his hand.

"Shawn," I repeat, "we're pregnant."

Unlike how we planned on announcing it - to the media and the world - we decided it would be best to keep this just between us for the moment. Until we found a doctor and until it was a true pregnancy and not a false positive, it would just be this little, but big, secret that we kept.

"And we said we wouldn't keep any more secrets." Shawn says to me.

We currently were in bed enjoying his break from training. He had a hand over my stomach and I looked at his swallow tattoo.

"Sometimes things are meant to be a secret." I tell him.

"Are you ever gonna tell me the name?" He asked me.

"Uh uh." I shake my head.

"No?" Shawn asks as he looks at me. I shake my head again and he nods his head before griping onto my waist and pulling my body closer to him. I let out a yelp as I laugh at his lips attacking my neck and cheeks in sloppy kisses. "Are you gonna tell me the name?"

"N-No." I laugh.

Shawn pins me down amid my attempt to break free from his grasp and I push his hair back as I rest my hand at the side of his face. "Hey, I love you."

"I love you more." He replies.

I bring my voice to a whisper as I gently scratch at his scalp. "We're having a baby."

Shawn nods his head as he lies his head against my chest. "We're having a baby." I miss the top of his head and close my eyes. "Where are you gonna deliver?"

"I don't know. I'm genuinely torn between Spain, Canada, or Chicago." I reply as I begin to play with his hair.

"Do you wanna find three doctors? Just in case?" He asks me.

"Can we do that?"

"I'm sure we could if we asked."

Shawn lifts his head up before looking at me and nodding his head. The smile that never once left his mouth since the news continued to grow and his eyes remained with a gleam. "Say it one more time."

"You're gonna be a father." I say to him. He hurried his face in the crook of my neck and kissed my skin gently before rolling off my body and getting out of bed.

"Are you hungry?" He asks me as he checks his phone.

"Yeah. I've been craving -..."

"You're craving things already?!" Shawn asked me. Suddenly checking his phones for notifications were no longer interesting to him.