Desire | Shawn Mendes

SEVENTEEN

Song of the Chapter: Little Too Much - Natasha Beddingfield

"We fall out then we fall back in / We're always back where we begin."

- x -

My fingerprints have turned to prunes as I help Fin, my nephew, create a puddle of pool for his sandcastle. It was seven in the afternoon and the sun was barely starting to set, making the sky a sorbet color. Shawn was talking with Chandler, exchanging "parenting tips". "You're not even her dad yet!" "Ah - you said it yourself: yet. Mia is my god daughter. Key word: daughter."

"Is the superhero your boyfriend?" Fin asked me. I let out a snort and look at him. His brown eyes stare emptily at me as he awaits my answer.

"No, the superhero is not my boyfriend." I reply.
"Oh. Is he your husband?"

"He's not that either."
"So your friend?"

"Sorta."
"Then how come he's here?"

"He's here because I have to write an article about him. And then take photos of him."
"Oh. Can the superhero help us build this?"

"Sure, the superhero can help." I turn my head to the direction Shawn was in and call for him. "Hey! Superhero! Fin wants your help."

"We're exchanging parenting tips!" Chandler says.
"He doesn't even have a kid!" I say back.

But he almost did.

"Shawn, since you love kids so much, help this kid. I'm gonna go inside." I get up from the sand and dust my hands off before walking over to the two grown men.

"Have you seen his god daughter?" Chandler asks me. "She's really beautiful."

"Did you show me her?" I ask Shawn.
"No, I didn't get a chance to." He replies.

He shows me his lock screen and I can't help but feel like this kid is really his. She has brown hair and green eyes.

"It's funny, she has Owen's hair and eyes, but everything else is just Michelle." Shawn says. Is this what our kid would have looked like? "She heard I was in New York again and wants to see me."

"Invite her." I blurt out. "Fin could use someone to play with. All his cousins are older than him."

"I'm probably gonna drive out to see her after the shoot."

"Fin! Don't go in the water without me!" Chandler says. He gets up from his chair and runs over to Fin, who was already giggling and running towards the water.

"Did you talk to Simone?" I ask him.
"Hm? Oh, yeah. We got to talk some ideas. You'll find out what they are, but it's gonna be good."

"I can't wait." I say. I walk away and head for the house, which occupied Chloe, my mom, and my napping dad.

"I was just about to call you." My mom says from the kitchen. "Wash your hands and come help us make dinner."

"Okay." I go into the kitchen and wash my hands in the sink before drying them up and helping my mom prepare the shrimp while Chloe worked on making garlic bread.

"Is it weird having him here?" Chloe asks me. "I'm sorry if that was rude to ask, I just kept wondering when I heard you were bringing him."

"At first it was weird, but it's just for work. That's all." I reply.

"Does he know that?" My mom asks me.
"Yeah, why wouldn't he?"

"No mas," She says with a shrug. "Sometimes these men, even after all of these years, will still think about you and that question of...ah, como se dice? What if?"