Desire | Shawn Mendes

EIGHTEEN

Song of the Chapter: Patience
"Tell me that you're willing / Then you say you won't./ Can you make your mind up? / Please, I'm losing my patience..."

- x -

The weather was beautiful. A soft and gentle breeze of the warm wind danced around our bodies and hugged our skin in a way of saying, 'Welcome to the beach.'

Shawn and I both carried two empty mason jars in our hands. But seeing as how gigantic his hands were, he managed to carry both in one hand. We walked a couple feet apart before growing closer at the shore.

"I forgot how much I missed this." Shawn says as he sets one jar down in the sand. I gently toss it down and carry the other in my hand. "I never knew collecting seashells could be so...calming."

"Yeah, it is." I say to him. "Why do you think I have so many of these and empty fish bowl filled?"

"How did you come to love this, anyways?" Shawn asks me.

I shrug my shoulders and look around for something to collect. "I dunno, really. It was just something of insomnia one night when I was, I think twelve? I really can't remember. But one night I couldn't sleep and the moon kept peeking through my window and it was the summer my fish died, so I had this big bowl, and I grabbed it, snuck out the house, and started collecting."

"Have you collected any at Chicago?"
"Eh, not much. We have to take a cab or something to the beach, depending on which one we're going to. But there's just those tiny ones that crack under your fingers." I say.

We're quiet as we collect more seashells and sea glass. The waves form music of the night as he and I are the audience. Shawn hums a tune to himself and matches the harmony of the water.

"Does anyone else besides me know you sing?" I ask. "Like Nora or Mia? Or, anyone?"

"No, Nora doesn't know." Shawn says with a nervous chuckle. "But I sing to Mia. And no, no one in the media knows I can sing."

"When was the last time you sang?"
"In the shower."

"Can I put in the interview that you sing? It's okay if you don't want me to."

"I don't know if I want that just yet."
"How come?"

"What would people think if they knew I sang?"
"They'd think, Wow he can sing and kick my ass."

Shawn laughs and nods his head. "I never thought of it that way."

"Well now you can think of it that way." I tell him.

The conversation grows quiet again as we don't know what to say. I think back to what Chloe asked of me. Do you want him to love you? Do I want him to love me?

"I don't know." I whisper aloud.

"Huh?" Shawn asks me.

"Oh, nothing. I was thinking about something."

"What is it?"

"Well...a friend of mine at the office has this..this problem. This guy keeps on sending her these mixed signals." I begin.

"Like what kind? Have you seen these signals?"

"Plenty of times. She and I are absolute best friends. But anyways, back to the signs. He'll drop these hints that he wants to be with her, like, Hey, I missed you so much, and he'll talk about her like if they're meant to be; he even talks to her like that. And when she confronts him about it, he doesn't own up to it."