Luther's Adventure Log

Ratings

After a while, we made it back to Gran Soren. We had to pause to fight every random thing Gorgo laid eyes on, but eventually just decided to ignore him and if he made it back alive, then he made it back alive. Luckily, he did, because he was carrying all of the things Monica and I hadn't wanted to. Once safely inside the Union Inn, with all of our things shoved into the storage box, we headed down to the Pawn Guild and said our goodbyes to Gorgoroth.

"Did he serve you well, Arisen?" Barnaby asked, walking up to me with a clipboard.

"No. But he did serve me. Why?"

"Well... and this is awkward for both of us... but some of the Pawns you've hired have complained that you aren't doing your paperwork."

"I have paperwork?" I asked incredulously. Nobody ever told me that being a kick-ass dragon-slaying sensation would require paperwork.

"It's a whole thing they're trying out. We give you an evaluation sheet, you fill it out, rate them from one to five stars, leave a passing remark... I know, it's stupid, but the higher-ups think it's going to boost morale and make the Rift a more pleasant place to work. I've got some backlogs here for you to fill out. I promise this won't take very long."

"Monica, have you ever heard of this?"

"Why don't you ask my plethora of five-star ratings?" Monica chuckled smugly.

"Ugh, so this is actually a thing? This is such bullshit! Alright, Barney, hand me the paper."

"Barnaby."

"Oh my me, Barnaby, I was giving you shit."

"Right. I know. Sorry. First, we have Rook."

"One star on everything. And for my remark, I'll leave 'does not deserve to live'. Next."

"Uh... Arisen, are you sure you want to-"

"Next!"

"David."

"One star on everything. 'Could not fly'."

"Monica, are you sure you don't want to do this instead?"

"Barnaby, we knew this would happen when the higher-ups implemented the system in the first place."

"Yes, but if we took the time to cut out the more toxic ones-"

"Next!"

"Ugh... Look, just go easy, okay?"

"Who is it?"

"Uh... it's Ted."

"Negative five stars on everything. My comment is 'Everybody in the entire fucking world knows, Ted'!"

"Arisen, you can't actually give negative stars..."

"Yeah, and I want to send him this rotten fish as a token of my esteem."

"Ah, yes. The time-honored Cassardian tradition of giving rotten fish as gifts to people who have earned your ire."

"Next!"

"Mike."

"Oh, hey, I forgot about him! ...Three stars for everything. 'Sorry we fed you to a tentacle monster'."

"Alright. Next up is Samara."

"One for looks, because she was a walrus in plate armor. Three for everything else. 'Sorry we outran you'."

"Regoras is the next one."

"Four stars on everything. 'Tell the Dragonforged I said 'Bro', he'll know what it means'."