Luther's Adventure Log

Pawn Shop

"So Jonathan, let me get this straight. You want me to give you an outrageous amount of Rift Crystals for this junk, right?"

"I would say they're reasonably priced, seeing as the merchandise is one-of-a-kind."

"Right, see, that's bullshit. Because these rings, these glasses, this useless golden shiv... they don't do anything, Jonathan."

"Ah, but think of the prestige, Arisen!"

"Think of my wallet, Jonathan! Monica gets a lot of jobs now, sure, but what about when she's old and gross and her looks go? You and I both know that's the only thing setting her apart from other Mages! The fountain is gonna dry up eventually! And if I spend my riches that I earned by pimping her out to other Arisen on this useless junk, what will I do when I really need it?"

"I suppose I understand your concerns. So you're looking for something with more functionality, yes?"

"Exactly what I'm saying!"

Monica and Arisa entered the tent at this point, Monica dressed in new equipment and carrying a new staff. "I can't believe all of this was just sitting in our safety deposit box! Master, did you know there's an entire arsenal in there?"

"So how about these potions that alter a Pawn's behavior? One drop of this in their drinks, and they'll behave exactly as you desire."

"WHAT!? Master, what are you buying!?"

"Oh, real smooth, Jonathan! Now even if I buy this, I'll never be able to get her to take it!"

"Jonathan! Don't sell my Master questionable merchandise!" Monica cried, stepping up to us and taking the potion out of my hands, placing it very firmly back on the shelf. "He behaves badly enough as it is!"

"I understand completely." He said, bowing apologetically. "So just all of these skin, hair, and eye dyes, Arisen?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Master, what do you need any of this for?"

"Well, see, Jonathan told me about this cool scroll, of which he's currently out of stock, that would allow me to completely transform both of us! And if we have these things, I can be a giant musclebound green guy and you can be a tiny fat purple chick! It would be hilarious!"

"Master, if you so much as think about using that scroll on me, I will do things to you that I can't even describe in your language."

"Will I--"

"No, you will not like them!"