"I SAW FESTE NAKED!"
"Master, calm down! What are you talking about?"
"OH, GOD! It was HORRIBLE, Monica!"
"Why did you see Feste naked?" Zarianna asked, frowning.
"Threesome time." I whispered, shuddering and curling into the fetal position on my bed. "But threesome time became foursome time, and Feste's pants came off." I choked back my tears. "I couldn't look away."
"Master, why don't you start from the beginning? You aren't making any sense."
"IT WAS A BOOTY CALL, MONICA!" I screamed, grabbing the front of her robe. "They said there would be tea, BUT THERE WAS NO TEA! THERE WAS NO TEA, MONICA! THE TEA WAS A LIE!"
"Oh! ...Oh. Oh! Oh, my."
"This duchy is run by perverts, Monica! Everybody in this country is a sexual deviant!"
"Master, please, calm down!"
"Nowhere is safe!"
"Well, you couldn't have known what it really was. You can't blame yourself for this. In fact, you really can't blame anyone, can you? Nobody could have foreseen this, after all." Monica said soothingly, rubbing my shoulders.
"Weren't you the one who forced him to go in the first place?" Zarianna asked with a devious grin.
"Wait, that's right! It's your fault I saw Feste's naked ass bouncing up and down on that poor girl! YOU'RE TO BLAME!!"
"Grogneck wants to ask a question."
"Oh, for- WHAT, Grogneck?"
"Was it good for you?"
"..."
"..."
"Monica, I just thought of a way you can make it up to me."
"Alright, but no butt stuff."
"What?!"
"What?"
"This pleases Grogneck."
YOU ARE READING
Luther's Adventure Log
FanfictionA satirical Dragon's Dogma account following the adventures of Luther Goodfisher, from the moment the Dragon Grigori eats his heart and he miraculously survives. Soon enough, Luther is joined on his adventure by a Pawn, a mysterious being from anot...
