Luther's Adventure Log

The Seneschal

Everything was bright. So bright, I couldn't see. Everything was white. I shut my eyes against the brightness, but the light shined through my eyelids anyway. I fell for what seemed like forever, until I felt something beneath my feet. It wasn't ground, necessarily, but the same undefinable solidness of the Rift. When I opened my eyes and they finally adjusted, I was in a very oppressive dark room. A brilliant, shining golden figure sat on a very large and very uncomfortable-looking chair in the middle of the endless black expanse. Monica was nowhere to be found. It was just me and Golden Showers. I moved towards him, or maybe her. It wasn't easy to tell with the stupid robe he or she was wearing.

"Well met, Arisen. I'll not waste time on rhetoric: Defeat me, and take my place as keeper of this world." Even the voice made it hard to tell what gender this thing was. "You saw it awaiting you at the end of your descent." With a gesture, the floor opened up like clouds, and revealed that we were really super fucking high up. "Aye. The same world you've travelled to arrive at this place. A world you may well now inherit."

"So... what, are you God or something?"

In response, Golden Showers raised his hand, signaling for me to shut up. "It is a simple proposition. No different than any you've faced." With a flick of his wrist, something hit me hard in the chest and sent me flying. I landed on my feet, and it honestly hadn't hurt that bad, but it was still completely uncalled for.

"What the hell, asshole!?"

"You need only the will to claim what is offered you... The will to survive!" He said, now definitively sounding male as he got out of his chair.

"Okay, just for that, I'm going to kick your ass especially hard." I snarled, drawing my daggers. "Let's do this, Golden Showers!"

"Yes, fight, Arisen, as you ere have fought in coming here!" Golden Showers said grandly, shooting a golden beam of energy at me that moved slower than a Cassardian's brain.

"Oh, I'm gonna!" I shouted, firing a sixfold bolt volley at him. It knocked him flat on his ass, but he vanished and reappeared somewhere else, standing upright.

"What is it that impels you? What force spurns you on?"

"Right now, pure rage and a thirst for payback!"

"What sustained your wanderings and led you here?"

"First, Grigori cockblocked me ate my heart, and then there was a giant hole in the ground, and one thing led to another."

"I ask you: What is it that makes you alive?"

"Staring into the eyes of my enemies as the light slowly fades from them, I guess."

"Tis volition. Unbending will."

"Alright, that works, too."

"You are here because you willed it, Arisen. That alone has brought you here."

"Actually, I don't want to be here. I just figured I'd fix the hole in space-time before I hung up my belt." As I took another swipe at him with my daggers, he vanished. "Ah, bitch!"

"Consider... The infinite potential..." I whipped around to see him standing there with...

"What is that, a ball of jello? Where did you even get that?" He turned his hand palm-down, dropping the jello onto the floor, then raised his hand. The ball of jello turned into a devastatingly handsome red-eyed pale-skinned Elf man with long, gorgeous black hair. "Well, hello, handsome!" My doppleganger walked towards me ominously at that, stopping to stand in front of me brooding Lutherliciously.