Luther's Adventure Log

You Didn't Miss Much

I'd rooted around for evidence in Fournival's house already, finding overwhelming evidence that he was obviously guilty of helping an evil cult procure their badges, which was apparently worthy of death. If just buying pin-on buttons that said 'Necrophiliac And Proud' got you the death penalty, then what was going to happen to the guy who made them?

I promptly destroyed all of that and carefully selected only the evidence that would imply he wasn't guilty. I thought about keeping the Salvation t-shirt because it would probably go for a decent price, but I ended up burning it with the post cards from the Elysion and the vacation photos of the entire cult hanging out at Fournival's summer home.

Ignoring the whiny losers who wanted to testify against Fournival for kicking them out of that house they weren't paying rent for, I made a beeline for my good buddy, Raymond, who I'd just seen again standing in the town square. Normally, I'd have ignored him, like every other time I walked by him anywhere at all, but having lost the leather cape he'd given me, I finally had a reason to talk to him again.

"Hey, Raymond! Long time, no see!"

"Reynard."

"You know I don't care. Hey, you got any more of those neat leather capes?"

"I hear you're gathering evidence for a trial. I can help you with that... For a price." He said with a smug grin.

"I don't care about that. I've got so much gold, I could swim in it like a cartoon duck. So wait, you can fabricate evidence?"

"Now, now. 'Fabricate' is such an ugly word. I would say 'procure from unknown places'. Would this be about that rascal Fournival's trial?"

"You mean the only trial in the entire town? Yes. That would be the one."

"Say no more! I'll gladly help put that selfish beast behind bars!"

"Yeah, we're not doing that. I need a healthy helping of 'Not Guilty', and price is not an object."

"What?! But he's a heartless money-grubbing drug dealer! All the realm knows it!"

"Sure, but I need a dealer and he's the only one in Gransys. How much?"

"Arisen, please! The man is a fiend!"

"I super don't care."

"He evicted a good friend of mine!"

"Yeah, I know. I totally helped. Now are we doing business, or am I going to have to rig this trial on my own?"

After buying all of the evidence Reynard was able to produce for me, promising not to share the credit with him, and sadly discovering that he did not have another leather cape for me to buy, I handed in all of my false-gotten proof of Fournival's innocence and headed back to the Union Inn. I told Aldous I wasn't going to find any more evidence, but he insisted we had more time. He didn't seem to understand that I meant I wasn't going to look for any more, and I didn't have the heart to correct him. To my surprise, Monica was sitting at our usual table, wringing her hands and looking sick.

"What happened to you? You look like you ate something rotten. Did you eat something rotten? I hope it wasn't a fish, because I've been saving those for the entire population of Cassardis. Those sex-loving drug-doing inbred cousin-fuckers have had it too good for too long."

"Master!!" she cried, jumping up and throwing her arms around me. "Where have you been? I was so worried!"

"I was doing my job. You know, that thing I do literally all the time when I'm not sleeping?"

"You don't have a job." Meridith scoffed, butting in as usual.

"Being the Arisen is my job, and I do it full-time!"