Luther's Adventure Log

Freefall

"Master, do I even want to know why you're covered with blood and wearing Duke Edmun's crown?" Monica groaned, rubbing her temples.

"Probably not."

"Just... answer me this. Is anybody in the castle still alive?"

"Sure. Julien is huddled in the corner of his cell in the fetal position, and I spared Aldous because he's my buddy! Man, he's going to need all the therapy. I do not envy him that doctor's bill."

"...That's it? Two people?"

"Three, if you count Mercedes, but she was on a booze run at the time and she might not have gotten back yet."

"Why the crown?"

"Eddy kept telling everybody that I wanted it, and after I denied it for a while, I decided to humor him. So I just ripped his head off with my bare hands and took it. But I didn't forget you! Here!" I held out Aelinore's dented crown to her. "It's a little messy because she was wearing it when I smashed her skull against the nearest wall in the melee, and it took more than one slam to crack the skull and get to the brain and finish her off, but it should buff right out."

"I'm not wearing a dead woman's crown! And take that off your head before we get in trouble!"

"Fine, but don't tell me I never get you anything." I pocketed the crowns just in case she changed her mind later.

"So the only way Barnaby thinks he knows to fix this is for us to dive into the Everfall ourselves and confront what's causing this distortion."

"Whoa, what? We're supposed to jump? Down there?"

"Apparently."

"Monica, even with immortality, I do not have enough time to point out all of the things wrong with this plan."

"Do you have a better one?"

"How about not jumping in the giant hole in the time-space continuum?"

In response, Monica shoved me into the Everfall, then jumped in herself. I'm not proud of how I handled it.

"Master, stop screaming!"

"What the fuck do you want me to do, you crazy bitch!?! We're falling through TIME AND SPACE!! Oh, Maker, did we just fall out of the sky!? That's Gran Soren below us! We're falling up, Monica!"

"Just grab a ledge!"

"Which ledge!?"

"Any ledge! It doesn't matter!"

"And how do you expect me to do that without ripping my arms out of their sockets?!"

"Master, I promise you, your arms will not be torn out of their sockets."

"How can I trust you!? You're the one who shoved me off the ledge in the first place!"

"It was faster than convincing you!"

"This is why I always say you're a bitch!"

"I fear I've na--"

"NO! Shut up! Just shut up!" As we argued, I angled myself to catch a nearby ledge. I had it all lined up. Or so I thought. Instead, I slammed face-first into it.

"Ooh! Master, are you alright?" Monica asked, helping me up and dusting me off. She flashed a quick healing spell at me, then nodded, satisfied. "You're fine. It didn't even break your nose. I'm impressed!"

"HI!!!" Shouted a loud, obnoxious voice from behind us. Monica screamed, which made me scream, which made the loud, obnoxious third party scream. After a few seconds had passed, we stared at the newcomer in silence.

"...Okay, let's start again. Who the hell are you?"

"MY NAME IS QUINCE!! I'M A PAWN!"

"Why are you shouting?" Monica asked, squinting in confusion.

"MY MASTER IS DEAD AND I'M SAD ABOUT IT!"

"You sound awfully upbeat to me." I noted, furrowing my brow.

"WELL I'M NOT!! I'M SAD!! HEY, CAN YOU GUYS DO ME A FAVOR!?"

"Well, we don't really know you that well-" Monica started.

"GREAT!! MY MASTER DIED COLLECTING THESE NEAT WAKESTONE THINGS! SHE NEEDED TWENTY OF THEM, BUT SHE DIDN'T GET THAT FAR!"

"Monica, correct me if I'm wrong, but, uh... aren't these the magic rocks that let you literally come back from the dead?"

"That's correct."

"So how did her Arisen die if she had even one of these things?"

"Don't think about it too much, Master."

"Right. Okay, uh..."

"MY NAME IS QUINCE!! I'M A PAWN!"

"Quince, right. So, Quince... where should we look for these magical not-dying rocks?"

"OH, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! YEAH, MY MASTER SAID PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING DOWN HERE DROPS THEM!"

"I see. And let's say I get twenty of them. Why should I give them to you? I mean, that's twenty get-out-of-death-free coupons."

"BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T GIVE THEM TO ME, I WILL BE SAD!"

"See, I'm not buying it, Quince. Monica, are you buying it?"

"Not particularly."

"BUT MY MASTER CAN'T REST IN PEACE UNTIL IT'S FINISHED!!!"

"Why should I care?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE A GOOD SAMARITAN?"

I burst out laughing. "Oh, Quince! How little you know about me!"

"If we collect twenty of these, it may close the Everfall and restore peace to Gran Soren, Master."

"Wait, we're putting all our eggs in Quince's basket? Seriously?"

"She's the only one with a basket right now, Master."

"Uuuugh. Fine. But if I get killed, I'm using one of them."

"I wouldn't expect anything different, Master."

"Any door should work, right?"

"YEAH!!"

"Ugh. Let's get this over with." I threw myself off the ledge again, hating that this was the only way to get around. "And let's hope we find an easy door first."