Luther's Adventure Log

Spilling The Soft Drink

"It seems the Arisen is a profession given to leisure."

"Leisure? Dude, have you seen the stairs on this tower?"

"Or could it be you're afraid to face the Dragon?"

"Tell me, Soft Drink. Have you seen him anywhere? No? Then shut the fuck up. I'll kill the Dragon when somebody can find out where the hell he is. Until then, I'm all about beating the crap out of losers who start fights with me and then run away. You gave me blueballs, Salomet. I have to kill you. If I don't, how am I supposed to masturbate with your skull tonight?"

"Fool! The Wyrmking's Ring is a talisman of immeasurable power!"

"Why do you think I'm hunting you, dumb-ass?"

"In it, I shall become immortal!"

"Okay, it just occurred to me that you're not listening to me at all, so I'm just going to start fighting you now, if that's okay."

Salomet had figured out how to do a short-range teleport now that he was wearing the ring, and he started doing so all over the place every time one of us got too close to him. Even Monica and Zarianna with their souped-up otherworldly line-blurred bodies couldn't touch him with a physical hit. Meanwhile, his eyes glowed all red and spooky and black smoke kept coming out of him as he ranted about immortality and endless power. "Okay, you know what? Fuck this." I shot him square in the chest with an explosive arrow. If not for his annoying ring, I'd have been surprised when it didn't kill him. It stunned him for a second, though, and that was all the time I needed. I used my Dragon-given speed to get behind him, then caught him in a full nelson. "Monica! Now!"

"A full nelson?! That won't work on me! I'm Salomet!"

With a raw scream halfway between elation and agony, Monica's left arm exploded into a writhing mass of shadowy tendrils, with veins of fire running their length. She giggled madly, marching slowly towards Salomet and I as he struggled to get free and I held him in place. She was about six feet away from us when she sent her tendrils forward. They exploded his eyes out of their sockets and forced their way into his skull, going down the mouth and the vacant holes where his eyeballs used to be. I released him and backed away, getting as far away from that as I could. Monica's tendrils began to puncture skin and force their way in all over his body, and before long, all you could make out under his skin was the tendrils sliding around beneath them, boring out his organs and crushing his bones. His muffled cries of pain lasted much longer than I was expecting. Monica's distorted, inhuman giggling was starting to seriously creep me the fuck out.

"I, uh... I think that's enough, Twintails. Pretty sure he's dead." I resisted the urge to vomit as a shadowy tendril poked out his back, writhed around, then bored right back in through his hip. "Honestly, dude was probably dead ten seconds ago when you got started."

Monica didn't stop right away. She hissed angrily as yanked her tendrils out all at once, causing his body to rip in places before it just completely exploded into a ruined sack of meat and crushed-up bones loosely contained in a robe. She had to take a few deep breaths to calm down first, then sighed with relief as her arm morphed back to its normal shape.

"Okay, what the hell was that?" I asked, more concerned than angry.

She looked at me with a wry smile. "I fear I've naught to say, Arisen." She dropped the Wyrmking's Ring in my palm, then collapsed into my arms.

"Crap. Zee, you know anything about this?"

"Yep. Union Inn?"

"Union Inn."