"I'm really getting sick of stairs." I growled, as we climbed back up from the bottom of the tower.
"It's good cardio." Gillian said, beaming. "And besides, since the bottom door was locked, we know it's got to be the door you passed on your way to the Riftstone!"
"Yeah. All the way back up at the top of the stairs." I snapped, hating this place more and more with each step. Finally reaching the door I'd walked by earlier, kicking the body of the dead Arisen that had tried to use reverse psychology to get me to share my Wakestones on the way, we headed into 'The Pilgrim's Gauntlet'.
"Look, Master! This place doesn't have such a dark, broody name!" Monica said, trying to raise my spirits. Inside, the entire place was on fire. Literally everything was on fire. "Oh, how lovely!" Monica cooed, clasping her hands under her chin.
"Outside, it's so cold I can see my breath. In here, I can actually see heat waves. I'm going to complain about the heat distribution as soon as I get the chance." I resolved, leading the party into the inferno.
"Make haste. This place drives even the stoutest of minds to lunacy." Warned another dead Arisen in the path.
"Yeah, ten-four, good buddy. I've got an idea. A great idea. Possibly the greatest idea ever to be come up with."
"No more periapts." Monica said firmly, shaking her finger at me.
"Not that. See, all of these rooms... they're so narrow. So cramped. Not a lot of room to maneuver."
"That's true." Gillian said, mopping the sweat from her brow. "It'll be hard to use my sword in these tight spaces."
"But lots of room to bounce around. To ricochet, if you will." I fired off two Ricochet Hunters into the room in front of us, and smiled as I heard the wonderful sound of the bolts bouncing everywhere and cutting through a target multiple times. We headed into the room ourselves after the sound of bouncing bolts had stopped and found several dead cooked saurians lying on the ground, some with severed tails.
"I can't believe that worked." Monica said, awestruck.
"The trick is in arranging maximum bounce. Shoot at a far wall, and it won't do much for you, but shoot directly at a surface near you? You're golden." I said, flourishing the magic bow between two fingers.
"Yeah, Giovanni likes to use that trick, too. I mean, he doesn't need a magic focus to do it, but--"
"Guess who doesn't care? This guy! Come on, I'm sweating my ass off in here. Let's find that stupid key and get out." I said, interrupting Zarianna before she bragged about her Arisen.
"Oh, wouldn't it be hilarious if it wasn't in here?" She laughed, somehow not bothered by the sweltering heat.
"Zee, if we go through all of this and there isn't a key, I will personally force one of these burning pieces of lumber up your ass."
"Dad, look! We're not the only people alive in here!" Gillian said excitedly, pointing to a bunch of depressed-looking Pawns.
"Your command... compels me here..." One of them moaned miserably. All of them turned and started walking towards us.
"Uh-oh." I said, noticing the black veins on each of their faces, their ashen, gray skin, the eerie black auras around each of them, and of course, their cold, dead eyes. There was no glow in them. Nothing of the Rift was in these Pawns. They were empty vessels, running on autopilot.
"Oh! No, we're sorry! The party's full up!" Gillian continued, laughing. "Sorry! No, you can't come with us... okay, back off. Don't come any closer! Dad, what's going on?! Why aren't they listening?"
YOU ARE READING
Luther's Adventure Log
FanficA satirical Dragon's Dogma account following the adventures of Luther Goodfisher, from the moment the Dragon Grigori eats his heart and he miraculously survives. Soon enough, Luther is joined on his adventure by a Pawn, a mysterious being from anot...