Halaal Love

Chapter 12

Habibah's POV

Receiving a message from your friends right after you get up from bed is okay. But receiving a message from your soon-to-be-spouse is something not okay. Especially that it's weekend, there's just nothing to talk about. Besides, the one who messages me through his phone is always Amira. But this time, it really is from Omar.

O: Assalamualaikum...

H: Waalaikumsalaam...

O: I just wanted to give a picture of this note from Jassim. He told me to give it to you, but I couldn't find any time to meet you and I can't tell Amira to pass this since she will definitely read it first.

Along with his message is an attachment of a picture: a note with a messy but readable handwriting. I've gotten familiar with the handwriting because Jassim was the only kid amongst our group of friends who could write a joining handwriting in such a young age. Though the teachers weren't really pleased with his handwriting and always mentioned it as caterpillar style.

I don't reply his message, rather read the note and can't help myself but wonder... How? How can he... likes me? How can Jassim likes me? Why should he like me? When I'm finally settling my heart for a guy, there comes a calamity that might ruin my future.

H: Do you know the number that he uses in America?

O: +1**********

Before I even reply a thank you to Omar, my fingers pressed the button add contact and clicked his whatsapp profile to his message.

H: Assalamualaikum Jassim. It's Habibah.

Minutes later, he replied.

J: Waalaikumsalaam. I know...

H: Is that true what you wrote?

J: ...yes.

H: But why? How?

J: Why, how what? You don't get what I mean or what?

I sighed and typed the words then pressed enter.

H: That you... have an interest on me. That you left because of Omar and I. I just don't get how you can...

J: Because you never notice.

H: I'm sorry...

J: For what?

H: Everything. I wish I can do something, but I can't drop the future that's clearly in front of me.

J: You shouldn't. Anyways, I hope your marriage will be a blessing amin.

H: Jazakallah. I hope you too.

J: I wish.

He ends the conversation with such words that make me feel upset and guilty. If only I knew this was coming, I wouldn't have want to be with Omar or Jassim. I knew I was better alone.

•••

"Assalamualaikum Habibah..."It's Amira's voice. I turn around to face her and smiled, replying her Salaam. "كيف حلك؟"

"Alhamdulillah, خير."I reply as we walk to the class together. "What about you?"

"Alhamdulillah. How are you and Omar going?"

"Fine..."My mouth almost say the things what Jassim said, but I immediately shut it.

"When do you think your marriage is? Oh, do you know about Jassim's departure."

"About Jassim, I know. About the marriage. We still don't know. I'll let the mums have their work."I flashed her a smile, "See you next time In sha Allah."

I enter the class with a feeling of relief shooting through me. At least I don't have to act anymore, for now. I just wish I can go back to the past and stay there - but that's what depressed people always say. Wanting to go back to the terrible past.

Soon enough, the lesson start with the introduction of a new student, whose name I don't know since I'm not really paying attention to it. Instead my mind is wandering to somewhere else. I wonder what Omar feels after reading the note. Does he feel upset? Angry? Or does he feel pity?

"Mrs. Salsabilla, is everything alright?"Mr. Ilyas, the mathematic sir asks, drawing everyone's attention.

"Yes sir."My voice is surprisingly low and my head feels like spinning in a ferris wheel.

"Very good. If you don't feel well, Mrs. Farhana is back now. You can consult to her."I nod my head, feeling embarrass. Mrs. Farhana is a psychology teacher who happens to be a psychologists in Hamad Hospital as well. Everyone in our University consults to her and trusts her well for the advice of their problems. Though I've never really consult to her about anything, I'm beginning to think if I should actually consult to her for this matter so I can think wisely.

...

كيف حلك= How are you

خير= Fine