Halaal Love

Chapter 13

Habibah's POV

I decided to talk to Mrs. Farhana about the matter. I know that it is something that most of the people experience nowadays and I know I can handle it. But what I need right now is someone who would hear me.

I'm standing right in front of Mrs. Farhana's office. My knuckles presses on the door, knocking lightly. "Come in!"

"Mrs. Farhana?"I peek. She stands up from her seat and greets me politely.

"So... what brought you here, lady?"She asks right after I settle on the chair in front of hers.

"To consult. I need advice on something."She nods.

"Go on then."I huff and begin to tell her from the start: About Jassim as my childhood best friend until the note. By the end, she looks at me blankly.

"Do you ever like Jassim?"

"Not more than a friend."I answer immediately. I never like Jassim more than a friend.

"Okay... So what do you think you should do?"I think for a while about what I should do. Things between Omar and I are awkward now. If I move back, I would be displeasing mu family as well as his family and everyone else. Including myself. If I move forward, how am I suppose to cope with the awkward tension?

"I don't know..."I hear her sighs and places her glasses on the table, moving to look at me. She hold my hands.

"You're a psychology student yourself, Habibah. The purpose of studying this is to understand your mind. Prevent yourself from having a depressed mind. I've seen your previous tests and you're good at advicing. Why don't you use the advises you gave to people for yourself? Sometimes life gets into weird planet and you're responsible to move out of the planet yourself. You need to build a rocket that'll help you."She continues, "I've never been in such situation, but I suggest you on going forth with the marriage. You're halfway though it. If you stop there... It'll be hard for yourself and everyone else. Even for that guy too. Look, awkwardness can be avoided. But if it's about destiny, who can avoid it?"

She is right. "You're right. But what if he doesn't want to continue?"

"Who wouldn't want to have a future with you? It's like a golden chance! Look at yourself Habibah! You're smart, beautiful, religious. Why wouldn't he want to marry you?"I feel my blood rushing to my cheeks.

"I don't-"

"Negativity will bring you down. Positivity will rise you up."I nod, breathing in. "Just try, really. Start a new chapter of your life. Be brave to take consequences!"She encourages, patting my shoulder before I rise up to leave.

"Thank you so much Mrs. Farhana. Barakallahu feek. In sha Allah I will try my best. Assalamualaikum..."She replies my Salaam and I leave her office with a smile of satisfaction on my face. Maybe this is what life is about. To take consequences and be brave. Brave enough to love someone and brave enough to not love someone.

I jog down the stairs and sit on the bus stop in front of the road patiently. But of course it's not that easy. It's hard to get a bus at this time of the day. Especially in this road. The sun is right on top of the sky, making the hotness of this Summer so unbearable. But then when I think again about Jahannam, it's hundreds of times worst than this worldly heat. "Practice for the hell,"I always remember what my old spiritual teacher used to say. "Bear the heat of the world, because you might not bear the heat of hell."

"Habibah Salsabilla?"A voice disenchants me from my thoughts. My head snaps up to meet the same person I just met: Mrs. Farhana. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh-oh just waiting for the bus."She sighs.

"Bus? At this time of the day? That's impossible dear. Look at the timings mentioned."I search for the time-and sure enough, it's mentioned that the bus would come to this road by evening. Not afternoon. "You see? I can give you a ride."

"Oh no need miss! I can call a taxi or my brother."She smiles at me.

"I know you don't like bothering people, but it's okay. Really. Besides, I'm going to your neighbour's house."

"Aunty Basma?"She nods. "But didn't she leave the country?"

"She went to attend her son's funeral. Her son worked in a military force and died in the battle in Syria."

"Innalillahi... So is that why she never wants to talk about her son?"Mrs. Farhana shrugs.

"Perhaps. But she's getting better now and she can finally accept the fate, though she still cry and that's normal."

•••

When I enter my house, it's totally deserted. Well, my family likes to go out without informing me. I place my bag on the couch and go to the kitchen, pulling out the note which was pasted on the fridge.

Habibah, we're going to Omar's house for the date confirmation. Love, your favourite twin x

I narrow my eyes at the paper. They already chose the date and I, as the soon-to-be-bride haven't been informed yet? What in the world! I crush the paper into a ball and throw it in the garbage dump. I check the microwave for food, and there isn't. So is the fridge. Well... I think today might be a day of friend egg and fried noodle.

(I know this is a filler chapter. I just need time for the date confirmation which is next chapter In sha Allah)