life goes on (completed)

in disbelief

I took a deep breath as I ran my hand through my hair. I really can't believe I slept with Becky last night. I looked over to see her still sound asleep in my bed. But all I felt was guilt.

I made so many mistakes last night. I should've never kicked Pam out. We should've talked it out. I shouldn't have slept with Becky. I should've been out looking for Pam. And now I'm just feeling guilty. I sighed as I heard my phone ring.

"Hello?"

I asked as I picked up.

"You selfish son of a bitch."

I heard Sasha spat on the other side.

"What?"

"I can't believe you didn't go looking for Pam. You wanna know where she was last night? Giving birth to your daughter in a random store."

Sasha yelled at me. My heart dropped. Pam had the baby alone?

"Wait, What?! Sasha please tell me you're joking."

"You fucking wish. She had your daughter in some random, closed connivence store. She did it all by herself. And where were you last night Fergal? Cause you sure as hell didn't look for her."

Sasha said. Before I could even answer, she hung up. I put my phone down as tears filled my eyes. How could I just leave Pam like that?  I got up and started racing to the door.

Pam's POV

"Hello my little Ava. Mommy loves you so much baby girl."

I said as I kissed her forehead. I smiled as I looked at all her features. She was definitely a miniature me. She looks just like me.

"Pam?"

I heard someone say. I looked up but it was someone I definitely didn't wanna see.

"What do you want Fergal?"

I said in disgust.

"I'm so sorry for kicking you out. I really am. Please believe me. I love you so much and I was just angry."

Fergal said.

"If you were really sorry then you would've came looking for me last night. Where were you anyway?"

I asked him. He looked down as I raised an eyebrow.

"I had sex with Becky last night."

Fergal said. It left me in astonishment.

"Of course. While I was terrified and scared and pounding on door of every store in town because I was about to have a baby on the side of the road...you were fucking Becky! I can't believe that I ever thought you actually loved me."

"I do love you Pam. I love you so much."

Fergal said as he put his hand on my cheek before I pushed it away.

"You love Becky more. Clearly. You were there when she gave birth. You care more about her and Julianna then you ever did about Ava and I. I'll never be able to look at you the same. Just...go be with Becky at this point. Go be with the one you love. Because I'm clearly not her anymore."

"But Pam I love-"

"Just stop. I'm setting you free. Go be free."

I said. Fergal looked down as he walked out of the room. As hard as that was to do, I had to do it.