Carte Reviews (Closed)

Kat: Lost in Blue

Reviewed by CaliKat000

Author: MarloPolo
Title: Lost in Blue
Genre: Adventure

Cover: 4/5

I really like your cover! It gives the perfect element of foreshadowing. I think it should be a bit bolder though. Maybe add darker blues, bolder text or different font for lettering.

Blurb: 2/5

I think you should add some more to your blurb instead of only having the basics. Add some more for shadowing and personality of Sam into it, like some dialogue/thoughts from the opening scene of chapter one.

Title: 5/5

Excellent title! Your title tells readers so much without saying 'too' much. Good Job.

Plot: 8/10

I like where the story is going. Its interesting reading about how the characters look at Sam with his amnesia but I also like that James doesn't believe him.

Character development: 9/15

When reading in the beginning it felt like the dialogue was 'staged' or played out. When Sam would suggest something Claire's response was always "If you say so..." Or something along the lines of "Yeah." Or Claire would say something about Sam's past self and he would automatically believe it. It didn't give much personality to the characters. Only when reading the third chapter did their own voice occur.
I noticed you gave almost every detail about Claire away in chapter one and later on in the story Sam never asks about Claire and what she's like. I think if you spread out the details about the characters out the readers will begin to imagine a relationship between the two of them together better.

Spelling and Grammar: 6/10

I found a lot of misspelled words and sentences missing a word or two. You could use some work in this area. Make sure you proof read. What I do is read it out loud and ask myself "Does this sound right?" Or "Would someone actually say this?" When writing, write how you would speak to a friend or someone you just met. Also, after quotations (" ") make sure you state who is talking. You do this a lot I noticed. Reading can get easily confused.

Overall: 8/10

This is such an interesting story. I hope you continue writing it even if its not a well known or noticed book. I love the funny inner thoughts Sam has. Oh, one more thing, add detail and work on sentence fluency.

Other comments:
Great story! I plan on reading more! ❤