Carte Reviews (Closed)

Ava: For His Sake

Reviewed by Key Keeper Ava Avocados12

Title: For His Sake
Author: lily97000

Cover:
5/5

The words look awesome and the image fits perfectly.

Blurb:
2/5

The blurb is very jumpy. I suggest reading through to separate the important bits from the extras. You
also need a better hook at the beginning.

Title:
4/5

The title suits the book.

Plot:
8/10

The plot is interesting as it could pan out so many different ways. It is exciting for readers to see you put
your creative spin on it.

Character Development:
9/15

The character development needs some work. I don’t really know what any of them look like, except
Lara a little. Also, some bits seem unrealistic, would she really break his leg and slap him over such trivial
things? The main character’s emotions have little to no description, how does she feel when her best
friend and crush asks her to marry her even though he is in love with someone else? I get that she loves
him but shouldn’t there be some personal struggle? Edward is asking Emily to devote a big part of her
life to him, even though he loves another woman.

Spelling and Grammar:
4/10

The chapters need to be edited and you have a major problem with dialogue. For example, you write:
“I will help you”, she reassured…
When the comma should always be inside the quotation marks like this:
“I will help you,” she reassured.
When you have question marks and exclamation points, a comma is not needed but the first word on
the outside needs a capital. Like this:
“What?” She asked.
Other than that, the chapters just need to be proofread.

Overall:
6/10

Other Comments:

This book has a cool plot that could be executed in a variety of ways, with many twists and turns to keep
readers interested. With some work, this story will grow into something great.

Your strength:
Being able to tell backstory without sounding boring.
When Emily describes things like wearing a skirt to impress Edward, it remains upbeat and interesting.
That is a good skill to have as most writers tend to just retell past event which becomes boring.

Your weakness:
Character description and pace.
You need to work on describing characters appearances, I know you have a cast and did it at the start
but readers need to be reminded. Their emotions need to be described as well, to help reads connect
with them. As for pace, the first couple of chapters seem rushed through as if you just wanted them
married quickly so you could write their married life. The first few chapters are crucial because they are what capture reader’s attention. They become confusing if you rush so remember, take your time.
Overall, keep writing and tell your story.

Love Ava