Carte Reviews (Closed)

Ava: Whim and Deceit

Reviewed by Key-Keeper Ava Avocados12

Author: CannibalisticNecro
Title: Whim and Deceit
Genre: Fantasy

Review:

Cover:
4/5

Could be better, it is not very eye-catching.

Blurb:
4/5

Descriptive and well worded. The part about him chuckling is strange though.

Title:
3/5

Mysterious but still relevant to the story.

Plot:
4/10

Keep in mind that there have only been two chapters but the plot so far is very jumpy. It is hard to
follow what is happening. For example, at the beginning of the second chapter I thought you had
switched point of view. I am not sure which races are which as they are described hastily and I am not
really sure where the story is at, are they on a quest?

Character Development:
8/15

Once again, it has only been two chapters but the characters are mostly developed by the author telling
instead of showing. For example, Lenous, he is portrayed as a coward, partly because he will not face
the beast but mostly because the author has called him a coward.

Spelling and Grammar:
9/10

Spelling and grammar are excellent, just a few mistakes here and there that can easily be fixed by proof
reading.

Overall:
7/10

Other Comments:

You use a lot of complex words that many people will not have in their vocabulary. This is not a bad
thing, it makes your writing interesting and deters repetition. However, using too many make it very tongue twisting and difficult to read, especially when a complex sentence is used. Also your chapters are much too long. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for long chapters but especially with the complex
vocabulary, the chapters become boring and tedious. Your strength is describing the character’s
emotions but you need to work on vocabulary and plot structure. The idea of the book is very creative
and with some work, it could make a very interesting book.

♡ Key-Keeper Ava