Carte Reviews (Closed)

Juliette: Enemies Forever

Reviewed by Key Keeper Juliette Dragonrat703

Author : saturnwaves
Genre : Teen fiction
Book title : Enemies Forever

Cover 3/5

The cover's image fits very well with the story, as it shows two people turning away from each other in seeming hatred but also hints at a romantic relationship, which is the plot of the book. The one problem with it is that the title is much too small to read when browsing. Try making it bigger and bolder.

Blurb 4/5

Excellent hook to lure in your target audience. You do a great job of hinting at what the plot is about but not saying too much. I would recommend removing the part about it not being cliche. You don't need a justification for the story, and putting this in can send the message that you are unsure of your story's worth, which is a bad message to send new readers. Letting it exist for its own sake may improve it.

Title 5/5

The title complements the story perfectly and gives a great impression of what kind of story it will be. Nothing to improve.

Plot 6/10

The plot is promising and will definitely appeal to an audience that loves these romance stories. However, your pacing brought the entire plot down. You tend to summarize the events (for example, the police arrest), and many seemingly huge events (the police arrest, the shooting), have very little impact on the plot. You breezed past them as if they were nothing, which caused me to question why they were included at all. Try to spend more time showing rather than telling, which means let action and dialogue play out the plot more. There's nothing wrong with slowing the pace down to give us a chance to get to know your characters, especially when traumatizing events happen.

Character development 6/15

The characters didn't seem to have much depth. Although I assume more motivations will be revealed later on, the hatred of the Peterson and Arrington families made no sense. I understand that it's not supposed to, but adding some kind of history will make it seem a lot more realistic to readers. I didn't really feel like I knew much about your main character, and since it's in the first person you might want to spend more time on inner reflection, as this is mainly why stories are put in the third person. 

Spelling and grammar 7/10

You had very few spelling errors, but your grammar was poor in multiple places. You were trying to convey the main character's attitude, but remember that first person does not mean the narration should operate like real inner thoughts. Try to sort out run-on sentences and unnecessary "likes" and "yeahs," because these can be just as annoying in narration as they are in dialogue.

Overall 6/10

It's a promising start and an interesting set-up. More character development, a slower plot, and better grammar will help this story get on its feet.

Love Juliette