KAT: The Brother Who Hated

18 5 3
                                    

Reviewed by Key-Keeper KAT CaliKat000

Author: siakokka
Title: The Brother Who Hated
Genre: Short Story

Cover: 2/5

I don't think your cover does your short story justice. I think a new cover involving a battle field or soldiers would reflect better. 

Blurb: 4/5

I think your Blurb is alright,it could be structured better but, hey, it's better than nothing at all like most Wattpaders have.

Title: 4/5

I understand the title but the way it 'reads' doesn't sound right. Maybe make it grammatically correct like, "The Brother I hate", or, "The Brother Who I hate."

Plot: 8/10

 I thought your plot was great! I don't normally read short stories, because I like to take my time reading longer chapters but I enjoyed your story/plot. 

Character Development: 8/15

I think you could have added more detail into the characters. What they look like or the feeling of filth coating their bodies since they're in a war. I understand they can't exactly look in the mirror but they can see each other, you could describe through the eyes of another. They can also see their hands,under their nails. I'm sure there is dirty under there.

Spelling and Grammar: 5/10

I don't like the fact that it's all lowercase, whatever the reason. When writing you should always stick with the English rules, one being 'Capitalization'.  Something else I saw that you do a lot is switching between present tense and past tense. Make sure you proud read to make sure you get all those little grammatical errors. 

Overall: 8/10

I did love your story, it was very Spelling and it kept my interest.

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