Shawn Mendes Imagines

Hate: For Mackenzie

This was requested by ilovejake101. I hope you like it😊

**This does contain triggering subjects. Just a warning**

*Mackenzie's POV*

"Hey Mackenzie...we um...we need to talk."

Some of the most scary and anxiety causing words ever. Especially when you're hearing them from your boyfriend of two years.

Shawn was sitting across from me on the couch in our apartment. He had just gotten home from work, which was normally an exciting time for both of us, but something seemed very off this time.

"Shawn, you're worrying me," I spoke, "Why do you look upset? What's going on?"

"I've just been thinking," he started, "I've been thinking that we should break up. I just...I don't think I love you as much as I used to."

My heart sank and everything else that was going on in my life went out of my mind. "W-What?" I stuttered, my voice breaking.

"I'm sorry Mackenzie. Things just aren't the same as they used to be," Shawn tried.

As if that would make me feel better. I didn't understand why he was doing any of it. Why did we have to break up? He just didn't love me anymore? Was that really why? I tried to keep my breathing steady and hold back the tears as I looked up at his face. He must have been feeling too guilty to look me in the eyes. It was all slowly getting too much for me and I let out a sob before running to the bathroom. I didn't bother closing the door. Shawn didn't care about me anyway.

I kneeled on the ground and slowly opened the bottom drawer of the sink cabinet, the drawer that I hadn't opened in months. Hateful thoughts continued to fill my head as I picked up the small, sharp piece of metal with shaky hands. He's leaving you, I thought to myself, He's leaving you because you're not good enough for him. He hates you. (This is so hard to write. No one should ever have to feel like this:(❤ ) I loved Shawn so much, but he didn't feel the same anymore and-

Before I knew it i had made a small cut through the skin on my wrist. There was no stopping now, I needed to get my emotions out. I kept cutting over and over until I heard footsteps coming down the hallway.

"Hey Mackenzie, I-" Shawn stopped talking when he came around the corner and saw my state, "Oh my god, what happened?" He saw the blade in my hand and realized what I had done. His mouth fell open slightly.

"I'm sorry, Shawn. I'm so sorry," I cried, tears falling onto my cheeks. I was half apologizing for harming myself and half for whatever I did to make him want to leave me.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Shawn told coming to my side, "Here, let me help you." He reached for some towels and wrapped them around my wrist, adding a bit of pressure. Shawn stared down at my wrist, surprisingly looking really worried. "Mackenzie, why would you do this to yourself?" he questioned.

"Because," I wept, "You said you were leaving me and I don't know that I can live without you."

I looked up at Shawn's face and saw that he looked like he was about to cry as well. He shook his head. "None of that was real. I didn't mean any of it, I'm sorry," Shawn admitted.

I didn't understand. "What? Why would you say it then?"

He sighed, "You know how we only told my fans that we were dating a few months ago? Well, most of them were really supportive, but...there is still a bunch of people who keep telling me that I made a stupid decision and I shouldn't be with you. The hate just started to get too much. I was getting way to overwhelmed by it."

"But I'm sorry for saying I would leave you," he continued, "I can't imagine how much hate must be thrown at you. This is what I was afraid of really, you getting hate and it getting too much for you."

"So you do still love me?" I asked.

"More than anything," Shawn said, "I would never actually leave you."

Relief flooded over me as I came closer to him and he wrapped his arms around me. "Mackenzie, darling, please don't ever hurt yourself like this again," he whispered, "I never want you to feel like that. I don't know what I would do without you."

"I won't ever again," I promised, "As long as you don't leave."

"I won't baby. Never." Shawn helped wrap up my cuts, planting a kiss on each one afterwards.

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I hope I wrote this good and didn't get anything wrong. Again, it was honestly hard to write, but it felt good ending with a good message.

Like I've probably said before, you are all beautiful and amazing people. You deserve to be happy and there are always people out there who care about you. Don't forget that you can pm me anytime if you need advice or just want to talk😊 I promise I'm super friendly.

I love you all and thanks for 115k like wowww😄