Broken Wings - Poetry {COMPLETED}

• searching •

A/N
This is a little bit of a personal ramble I guess, not poetry I know, so for that I apologise. Next one will be poetic I promise x
~ A

***

I feel as though I'm not me, not myself.

Sounds funny I know, but I don't know who I am as a person, what I want, what I like.

I've just lost myself trying to be who everyone wants me to be, and I've spent too long trying to make people happy by being that person - by being someone I'm not, and it's exhausting, physically, emotionally, mentally...

I've spent too long trying to be someone who fits their expectations, their idea of the perfect person, whether it be as a daughter, friend, lover, whatever else, and by doing it for so long,
I've lost who I am - I've lost myself.

And I don't even know where to start searching or how to. Each time I think I've made a bit of progress, I'm suddenly pulled back by people to the person I don't want to be, to someone who isn't me.
I'm pulled back to their idea of an ideal person.

It's like an actor/actress being stuck in a role; everyone loves the role, but it's not who they are as a person - it's not them.
Its become exhausting, so fucking exhausting, with people also suddenly planning this whole life out for me, a future I don't want, a future i'm afraid of.

For 17 years now and counting - and it just won't stop. I need a change, a new beginning; to just start fresh and find who I am as a person.

I need some freedom.