Bellamy Blake | Imagines & Preferences

Regret.

Although you had allowed Bellamy to sleep in your bed that night hate  and enmity welled up in your heart.  Your resentment for Bellamy spread  throughout your entire system infecting feeling you had. After that day  all feelings and emotions were shut down and you had cut off emotions  with Bellamy. Now all that was left between you was cold, animus effects  of a relationship gone bitter.

Bellamy had tried to pull you into  his chest a number of times throughout the night but every time he  would try you would push him away and scoot to the edge of the bed. You  slept with you back to him but naturally, you would always find yourself  closer to the freckled boy.

All of a sudden you felt the tickle  of his presence on your skin and his fingers slowly grazed your arm  making you throw your shoulder back aggressively and roll farther away  from him.

"Don't touch me," You seethed to your boyfriend. It was  the first thing you said to him in two days, and you didn't even say it  while looking at him.

"Y/N-"

"You're lucky I didn't make you  sleep on the ground," you interrupted him, provoking a sigh. There was  more silence between you two before you spoke up again. "I don't even  know you anymore." It had been the day after Lincoln was killed and you  were still grappling with the fact he was gone. Sometimes a day was all  it took for you to get over it, but not this time.

"I didn't mean for this to happen."

"It  doesn't matter what you meant, Bellamy." Out of all the things you  thought you would be doing with Bellamy, this was not one of them. You  never thought you would be fighting first thing in the morning just  after your friend had died. "He was my best friend Bellamy, and he was  Octavia's boyfriend. She loved him, Bell. He's the only boy she loved  besides you. Now she has no one."

You could feel Bell's aura. His  energy was negative. A sad feeling of unimaginable weight. He was  remorseful and his words dripped with regret but you didn't let him off  the hook so easily.

"I'm sorry," He pleaded with you. "I liked  Lincoln too. Pike made a mistake. This will not happen again. Y/N. I  will do anything to make this up to you, I'm so sorry."

"Make it  up to me?" You hissed. "Try and make it up to Octavia. The only real  reason why you aren't dead is that you're her brother." You sat up  ferociously, turning to your boyfriend. You looked back down at his  body. He laid on his side looking into your eyes. You swung your legs  over the side of his bed, sitting with your back away from him.

"What  about you? You haven't left yet." His voice wasn't over a whisper, it  was almost as if he was scared of the answer that you would give him.  Thoughts raced your mind as you tried to pick the right words to say to  him.

"If I had any obligation to you, I paid it. You sleeping next  to me is only out of pure kindness and my naivete. You can leave." You  turned your head back, glancing at Bellamy momentarily before turning  back.

"Y/N-"

"I hate you," You exploded. It broke him. Piece  by piece. Slowly he could feel every drip of happiness leaving his  body. How could Bellamy, someone who never opens up to someone fall in  love, open up, and ruin it all with on choice? How could he care for  someone so deeply, receive all the love in the world and ruin it? He was  devastated and hurt hearing those words drop from your mouth.

"No,  you don't. You don't mean that you could never hate me." He didn't  bleed with arrogance he bled honesty and deep down you knew he was  right.

"Perhaps," You juggled in your mind. "I don't know what  keeps me strapped to you, but you're lucky. I would be long gone by  now." You glanced at him once more. "That doesn't mean I don't resent  you and the idea of you."

"What will it take to make you... I don't  know...  not resent me?" Bellamy wasn't used to fighting for attention or  having no attention in general. He was used to being in love, being  happy... being lustful. Now all he was going to be used to feeling was  sadness.

"That when I kiss you I don't taste the deaths of all the  innocent people you killed." He moved from his lying position getting  on his knees and traveling over to his body. "That I don't taste the  blood on your lips." He was right behind you, you could feel his body on  your back. "That I don't touch your lips and only remember the bad."

A  light kiss touched your shoulder producing a shudder from you. That  hurt Bellamy, it hurt you didn't fall into his hands by his kisses but  he continued. You moved your head to the side ghosting your lips over  his as you passed by.

    You urged yourself to push away, but you  couldn't. His lips pushed onto yours slowly kissing each other. Your  lips fit onto his like a key unlocking a safe. Your limp body began to  tremble uncontrollably as you replayed Lincoln's death in your mind. He  pulled away. Holding you in his arms as you calmed down.

    "What did you taste this time?"

    Your voice came in a painful whisper, but he could still hear. "Regret."

***

author: thehundrd